storiesofvalue

More than Therapeutic

Do you feel better when you pray?  I do.  More than once I have called out to God before delivering a sermon, asking Him to calm my nerves and help me remember the things I have studied.  A few times I have apologized to God when my sermon was complete.  There is no doubt about it: prayer calms us.  It lowers our heart rate and helps us refocus on the task at hand.  But is prayer just a form of self-talk to help us manage our stress?  Absolutely not!

Please don’t think badly of me for the perception I am about to share.  I am thankful many hospitals and emergency centers have spiritual guides who are trained and present in a time of need.  More than once I have arrived at the bedside of a deceased church member where a family is already being ministered to by a volunteer chaplain.  More times than not the chaplain is very open about his or her faith, and knows just what to say and do.  I hope chaplaincy programs continue to grow and prosper and medical facilities never lose sight of their value.

However, I have noticed promotional materials in care facilities tend to focus on spiritual help as one of three dimensions in the healing process, namely “body, mind and spirit.”  Again, there is nothing inherently wrong with this approach, and certainly the Bible talks about all three.  The danger comes, I believe, when we view prayer as a mere therapeutic answer to anxiety.  Yes, prayer is therapeutic, but it is much, much more.  As well, those who pray for others are merely ambassadors drawing the hurting into the presence of the Creator.  In response to prayer, God not only comforts us with His spirit, but He moved providentially through those he has gifted with medical artistry.  Prayer should make us feel better, but only because we expect it to make a difference, either because it has called us back to our walk with God, or because He has acted in a tangible way.

David wrote, The Lord is my light and my salvation — whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life — of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)  David never hesitated to call on God in times of trouble, not because it put his mind at ease, but because God answered.

And so, yes, we should pray when we are anxious.  We should pray for God’s confidence, and for the courage to move forward in the face of uncertainty.

It should be noted, however, that it can be difficult to discern between anxiety and the Spirit’s prompting.  One might say, “I don’t know if I lack faith, or if God is trying to tell me to go in another direction.”  Presently, I am a candidate for elective surgery.  A few years ago I had rotator cuff surgery, and my doctor suggested I have a bone shaved in my other shoulder to avoid a similar injury.  I haven’t pursued the surgery because I am not sure its benefits are worth the potential risks.  Am I being controlled by anxiety, or is God guiding me in my decision?  Is my reluctance an emotional response or a spiritual provocation?

Sometimes people use the more secular term “premonition” to describe the mysterious feeling they have that indicates a future event, and usually an unwanted one.   People with premonitions make special preparations for something they sense is about to happen.  Anxious people might refuse to move forward because of premonitions.

Since we can’t possibly know for certain what our feelings are telling us, we must pray the anxious prayer and ask God to help us make sense of tomorrow.  We consult His Word to make sure we aren’t missing an obvious signpost, then do our best to be obedient.  In time, we might discern what we thought was anxiety was actually God putting the brakes on a bad idea. What we believed to be a step of faith was really a bad idea couched in our personal goals and agendas.

The anxious prayer is one of the most important prayers we will ever offer.  Whether we are uncertain due to our circumstances, our direction, or even the demands of others, God will help us wade through what we cannot know for certain and embrace His will for our lives.

The Anxious Prayer

Prayer during stressful times is problematic.  The mere notion we would come before the Lord in a stage of agitation stirs guilt within us.  Since He cautioned us against worry, how can He not be disappointed in us when we approach Him all “out of sorts?”

Also, our conversation is difficult during a time of stress, and prayer is no different.  In fact, the Apostle’s words concerning the Spirit’s intercession when we don’t know what to say proves this point (Romans 8:26).  If God has made special provision for our confusion, He must understand the effect burdens can impose on our hearts and minds.

Add to this the inexperienced nature of stressful circumstances in our lives.  We are most troubled when we are moving into new territory and have no history to give us perspective on the seriousness of our trials.  If we have never been “here” before, how do we know what we need from God?  What do we say or ask?  This is why we have such admiration for the list of faithful in Hebrews 11.  People like Noah, Abraham and Rahab were acting on faith, based on their prior knowledge of God, but not their advanced knowledge of events.  The scripture doesn’t go into detail as to their emotions, but their behavior appears unshakable.  We yearn for such confidence.

King David understood stress.  He began his royal life with the sitting monarch, Saul, pursuing him in a blind, jealous rage.  Were it not for the loyal friendship of Saul’s son Jonathon, and some providential help from God, a king named David might be absent from the biblical record. Later, David brought trouble on himself through an adulterous relationship with Bathsheba.  Then his own son, Absalom, tried to steal his kingdom.   All of this was in addition to the normal pressure any king faces in keeping the peace and defending his kingdom from its enemies.

Some of David’s Psalms reflect his journey into the valley of despair, and the pain of a broken spirit.  Others rejoice that God had restored order to his life and given him the confidence to move forward.   In Psalm 27:1-2 he writes, “The Lord is my light and my salvation– whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life– of whom shall I be afraid?  When evil men advance against me to devour my flesh, when my enemies and my foes attack me, they will stumble and fall.” (Psalm 27:1-2)

We look back on David’s experiences and, while we may not always agree with his behavior, we are able to make sense of the outcome.  God used everything for His purpose and glory.  But imagine what it was like for David at the time.  He knew God was with him, but he had also seen Saul lose his throne.  David must have spent many sleepless, tearful nights wondering if he would still have a kingdom when the sun rose, or if he would continue to be the man to whom God entrusted His work.

There are many sources of anxiety, but perhaps the uncertainty of life is at the top of, or near the top of the list.  If we knew how life was going to turn out we could prepare more adequately, but since we don’t, we fret.  We have also been around long enough to know many of our concerns are well-founded.

I stand amazed when I talk with conscientious, godly people, who are doing everything possible to answer God’s calling in their lives.  But sometimes, even the best work in the world can start to interfere with our spiritual walk.

You may be familiar with the “sandwich generation”: the phenomenon of middle-aged adults who are trying to care for their parents while raising their children.  Caring for both parents and children is nothing new, but the financial burden of doing both has increased dramatically.  I know people who are doing their best to adjust to this new reality, as well as meet other unique needs in their lives.  To be honest, I don’t know how they do it without sinking.  Only God’s grace sustains them.

Some aren’t necessarily trying to answer God’s call, but rather find themselves swimming in a sea of debt and bills that seem to pile-up by the minute.  Others are trying to unravel a labyrinth of consequences they have accumulated after years of poor choices, and in addition to their circumstances they are struggling with guilt and regret.

These kinds of stressors, combined with the trouble that plagues us all can bring us to the brink of sanity.  We all have limits, and perhaps you are at yours now.

Celebrate with singing and thanksgiving!  Acknowledge God’s goodness and praise Him for every blessing.  Count your blessings.  Cling to them in the midst of the storm, and walk in prayer in every season.

There will surely be times when it is hard to celebrate, and we should not feel overwhelmed with guilt when all we can do is groan in our spirits.  After all, three is a time to mourn and a time to dance (Ecclesiastes 3:4).  Yet, it is also possible to find blessings when life is falling apart, and sometimes a simple prayer of thanksgiving helps us regain some control over our circumstances.  As long as we see God’s hand moving in our lives, there is hope.

Consider Jonah’s prayer immediately before the giant fish spit him up on dry land: “But I, with a song of thanksgiving,will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the LORD.” (John 2:9) Maybe our prayer of thanksgiving will help us escape our own dilemma and deliver us into the purpose God has prepared.

From last week…I realize “how” we show our gratitude can be a personal matter, but permit me to suggest some basic disciplines that can benefit us all.  I hope you find them helpful.    

Spend time around grateful people.  Our attitudes in life are contagious.  If we spend all of our time around bitter people we will be prone to depression, but if we walk with the grateful, we will be encouraged by their perspectives on life.  Certainly, we should reach out to those who are hurting, and we should not try to shelter ourselves from reality by only spending time with those who have a positive outlook on life.  Yet, the people we socialize with will affect our attitude, and it is easier to perceive God’s goodness when those around us are thankful.

Be habitual in thanksgiving.  The family I was raised in always prayed before mealtime.  We took turns praying, and to be honest some days our hearts were in better places than others.  As a young adult I spent time around people who were a little cynical about mealtime prayer.  In fact, sometimes they were downright disrespectful, making a point to distract me when I bowed to pray.  Later, I married and had children of my own, and praying before mealtime became a priority, and a teaching tool.  Now, my wife and I pray without much thought as to who might be watching, or some statement we might be making to the world.  Our simple prayers before mealtime have become natural because they first became habitual.  I am glad I never allowed others to discourage me from this simple time with God.

Finally, give God a place at joyous events in your life.  I am always humbled when I am asked to pray for military retirements or milestone birthdays and anniversaries.  I remember the prayers our family members have prayed at weddings, and other important gatherings.  When I attend an event where people are celebrating and no one takes time to thank God, it feels awkward to me.  At the risk of sounding judgmental, I don’t think any big event in our lives should pass without praising God for His goodness.

I realize “how” we show our gratitude can be a personal matter, but permit me to suggest some basic disciplines that can benefit us all.  I hope you find them helpful.

Serve the needy. Benevolence toward others who are struggling in life may not sound like a discipline for prayer, yet when we show compassion we open up new conversations with God.  It is difficult to ignore our blessings when we see the difference our generosity makes in the lives of others.  Our main motivation for giving to others shouldn’t be self-focused, but an act of kindness is a good place to jump-start prayer as celebration.

Take time to enjoy God’s goodness.  Now that my wife and I have planned weddings for both of our children, we know how easy it is to get so wrapped up in the details of an important event we overlook the joy.  We were able to avoid this trap, largely due to the loving support we received from our church family, but it took a conscious effort.  The same thing can happen in almost any area of our lives.  Our seasons of greatest blessing are often the busiest.  It is imperative we create margins in our lives to worship, pray, and as they say, “enjoy the ride.”

Yes, count them.  We can benefit from the simple task of writing down our blessings.  But don’t feel as though you need to create a spreadsheet and spend hours plotting God’s goodness.  A simpler method might be to write down one blessing a day and spend that day thanking God for loving you.  In time the list will grow.

The Habit of Gratitude 

If counting our blessings helps us concentrate on God’s goodness, we can assume our entire outlook on life is subject to transformation.  This doesn’t mean listing our blessings, or some other activity,  will instantly alter our personalities.  There are predispositions that make some of us more outwardly expressive than others.  But our outward expressions are only one avenue of gratitude.  In fact, it is possible to be silently grateful, and carry ourselves with such grace we speak thanksgiving without uttering a word.  And of course, the things we don’t say reveal many things about the condition of our hearts.

Still, there is always room for improvement in our prayer life, and nothing will produce greater joy than habits focused on God’s blessings.  Habits are patterns of behavior.  We may or may not be aware of their presence in our lives, but we can pursue them intentionally.

Throughout my life I have witnesses the entire spectrum of habitual thanksgiving.  I have prayed with elderly widows over a plate of cookies and some milk, but bowed privately at an expensive wedding reception because no one cared to thank God for His goodness.  I have met those who can find good in anything as well as those who complain about nothing.  While there may be some perfectly reasonable explanations for people’s attitudes in life, an explanation does not constitute an excuse.  Therefore, we must all take responsibility for the way we choose to view our world, and develop good habits that nurture thanksgiving.

In noting the role people, timing and material blessings play in our lives, I realize I run the risk of overlooking some obvious reasons for thanksgiving.  We praise God for all kinds of answered prayers, including those offered for health, finances and relationships.  But even with these, our thoughts frequently focus on the people, timing and resources He has providentially brought together to meet our need.  Consider how God sent Jesus into the world by calling Mary and Joseph (people), in the fullness of time (timing), and provided every material thing that was needed (a stable, travel money in the form of gifts from the Magi, a carpentry business).

Remember, these are merely suggestions.  Please don’t let me define your list.  Instead, ask, “If I can’t possibly keep up with everything God is doing to bless me, where should I focus my attention?”  Give yourself permission to evaluate and change your list in light of changing seasons in life.

Count your blessings, name them “one-by-one” and it truly will surprise you what the Lord has done.  Are you afraid your circumstances are so difficult you won’t be able to concentrate?  On the contrary; sometimes our deepest valleys yield our greatest gratitude.

When David was fleeing the jealous rage of King Saul, he sought refuge with Achish, King of Gath (whose generic kingly name was Abimelech).  After Achish’s servants recognized David, he decided to mimic the part of a madman to save his life.  And in this critical period in his life David was still able to write, “I will extol the Lord at all times; his praise will always be on my lips” (Psalm 34:1).  It is time to start counting.