storiesofvalue

Growing in our faith is the process of learning more about God, His will and His ways, and developing a child-like trust as we wait on Him to reveal His glory in our lives.  We see this maturing process at worth throughout Jesus’ time with His disciples on earth.  They lived in a constant state of doubt and fear, but Jesus taught them the certainty of belief by giving them glimpses of His Father’s incomprehensible power.  (Yesterday’s post)

The gospels tell us about the day Jesus was on the sea with His disciples in the midst of a storm.  The disciples were overwhelmed and cried out, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” (Mark 4:38 NIV)   Jesus, who was busy napping on a cushion when they found Him, got up and rebuked the storm: “Quiet, Be still!”  It ceased.  Then Jesus asked His disciples why they were afraid.  “Do you still have no faith?”  With their hearts beating out of their chests and their hands still shaking they spoke to each other: “Who is this?  Even the winds and the waves obey him.”

Do you see it?  We know the disciples had enough faith in Jesus to follow Him.  But they still hadn’t connected some dots until they saw Jesus speak to the storm that day.  That’s when they realized His authority extended well beyond anything they had considered.  The miracle of the storm was a reflection of His Father’s infinite, immeasurable, incomprehensible divine option.  In time, the disciples would grow in the certainties of faith, and their fears and doubts would diminish.  Then they would experience a mature faith that isn’t subject to the back and forth motion of the waves.

Our greatest weapon against the deceiver is knowledge.  He wants to keep us in the dark with an impaired vision of God’s power.  There he terrorizes us with fearful screams, and encircles us with lies.  In using the word “delusion” I do not mean to suggest Satan’s power and its impact on our lives is not real.  If we remain imprisoned by his evil storyline, he can rob us of our very souls.  But the knowledge of God and the truth He gives us sets us free.  As He sent the adulterous woman on her way he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12 NIV)

We challenge Satan when we pour our hearts out to God and confess our fears and doubts.  As we meditate on the tapestry of God’s wisdom and providence we poke holes in the deceiver’s logic.  And when we live in the abiding grace of Jesus and give ourselves time to contend and adjust, Satan can no longer exploit our anxieties.  Put another way, evil can’t triumph in the presence of the truth!  This doesn’t mean the battle will be easy, or without pain.  Yet, blood has already been shed at Calvary, and the victory won there makes our victory certain here.  The delusion has been dispelled and no longer has mastery over us.

How do you believe you can go on the offensive against Satan?  How does He try to keep you from knowing God?

Dear God, Help me see through the delusion.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

But this is a delusion.  In reality I am certain of much more than it appears at the moment, and my fears and doubts are blown out of proportion.  The basic premises upon which my faith is built have not moved.  I am merely forced to consider the immensity of God’s divine option and seek to understand how He might be working in a way unknown to me.  This is how my faith grows: by watching God work in new ways as He proves the precept of the angel Gabriel that with Him, “Nothing is impossible”! (Yesterday’s post)

The issues we have been examining are Satan’s tools for perpetuating the delusion.  If the deceiver can tear away at our confidence, torture us with inequality, convince us to stop talking to God about our feelings, and pressure us to move too fast, or to pretend we are someone we are not, then he can slowly degrade our faith.  But if we remember God is patient with us, and loves us through the questions we cannot answer, we can regain our perspective.  The very things Satan tells us about God to destroy us can be turned against him.  With Peter and the first century persecuted Christians we can say, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”  (2 Peter 3:8-9 NIV)

Yet, merely being aware of the deceiver’s craft and God’s care for us is only a part of our defense.  While faith should be defended, it should also be built.  Satan’s arguments are no match for the logic of God, and we should not shrink from deepening our knowledge of His ways.

This need to recognize the infinite nature of divine option was the basis of God’s response to Job after listening in on his dialogue with his friends.  Out of the whirlwind God’s said, “Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?” (Job 38:2 NIV)  God used the example of creation to make the point that humans really have no way of comprehending the complexity of His genius.  In response, Job could only say, “Well, shut my mouth!”  Actually, he said, “I am unworthy–how can I reply to you? I put my hand over my mouth.” (Job 40:4 NIV)

Growing in our faith is the process of learning more about God, His will and His ways, and developing a child-like trust as we wait on Him to reveal His glory in our lives.  We see this maturing process at work throughout Jesus’ time with His disciples on earth.  They lived in a constant state of doubt and fear, but Jesus taught them the certainty of belief by giving them glimpses of His Father’s incomprehensible power.

What do you believe you know the least about when it comes to the way God works?  The Most? 

Dear God, help me be as patient as You are.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

We return now to our original framework for the #2 Pencil Faith.  In way of review, the two outer pencils represent the fullness of our faith.  Within this fullness are the certainties we stand on.  These involve the things God has told us about Himself and the validation of His Word through our human experience.  Also represented within our faith are our fears and doubts.  Though we all have them, and should forever seek resolution, we tolerate their existence in order to journey forward.

As I have shared, in my personal experience I have estimated those things I am certain of to account for 80% of my faith and my fears and doubts, the remaining 20%.  A dynamic middle pencil marks this dividing line (See #2 Pencil Faith graphic).  I should qualify, when I speak of my certainties I do not mean to suggest I know 80% of everything there is to know about God, but rather that this region of my journey brings me mostly confidence and very little distress.

Yet, the middle pencil is only a fragile reference that reminds me of the norm.  When I am in the midst of an unfortunate crisis, and Satan kindles the fires of fear and doubt, this sliding reference point compresses my certainties.  In a short time I am tricked into thinking the things I don’t understand about God are more significant than the things of which I am certain.  Like a dam on the verge of collapse the line that divides my fears and doubts from my certainties becomes unstable and spiritual catastrophe threatens my peace.

But this is a delusion.  In reality I am certain of much more than it appears at the moment, and my fears and doubts are being blown out of proportion.  The basic premises upon which my faith is built have not moved.  I am merely forced to consider the immensity of God’s divine option and seek to understand how He might be working in a way unknown to me.  This is how my faith grows: by watching God work in new ways as He proves the precept of the angel Gabriel that with Him, “Nothing is impossible”!

Are you prone to delusions?  How do you think Satan uses them to undermine our faith?

Dear God, give me a sense of perspective.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I would like to encourage you to participate in a small exercise.  Try it right now if possible.  Imagine for a moment the only expectations in life are the one’s God has shared with you in His Word.  This means the expectations of your family, friends, employer and church family are non-existent.  The voices from your past that often drive your actions were never spoken.  Self-help books were never written, and those magazines on the grocery rack that promise a “better life now” are not present.

If this was the case, would it be easier for you to be honest with God about your needs, and less consumed with comparisons?  Obviously, these things do exist.  It is also true many of them help reinforce God’s Word.  Indeed, God has put other people in our lives for the sake of accountability and encouragement.  But in reality, God’s will for our lives is the only thing that ultimately matters, and the only burden for conformity we should allow others to put on our shoulders is that we be transformed into His image.  The apostle Paul clearly articulated this goal in his letter to the church in Rome: “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)

I instinctively resist man-made spiritual systems that are loaded with self-help jargon and led by experts who claim to have unlocked the secret of a happy life.  It seems to me they are heavy on guilt and human compliance and weak on the abiding grace of Jesus.  A good rule of thumb is to be careful about trusting our souls to anything that requires the three-digit code on the back of our credit card.

Therefore, if your faith has been shaken by your circumstances, resist the urge to use someone else’s answers.  Instead, surround yourself with people of faith who are committed to helping you discover how God is moving in your life.  Make sure they are the kind of believers who understand God’s unique design for every individual and His infinite wisdom in putting the pieces of our lives back together.  If you are blessed with these kinds of companions on your journey you will never need to cheat.  Were you to do so, you would truly be cheating yourself.

People cheat to meet expectations.  They are driven to do almost anything to earn the favor of others, or to achieve their personal dreams.  There is no good excuse for cheating, but most of us understand the power of the human desire to succeed.

Expectations also influence out response to trials.  When David ruled as king over Israel, his son Absalom usurped his throne.  It was hard for David to battle Absalom, partially because he loved him and also because his failure as a father had helped fuel his rebellion.  Ultimately, Absalom was killed by David’s army to save his reign.  In response to the news David cried out, “O my son Absalom! My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you–O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33)  Joab, the commander of the army of Israel confronted David and accused him of humiliating the soldiers who had just saved his kingdom.  He boldly ordered his king to go out and encourage his men before they decided to serve someone else.  So David sucked it up and put on a good front for the troops, because that was the expectation.

I need to make a confession.  Actually I need to make two confessions.  I am prone to look over other people’s shoulders, and I am also good at telling people what they want to hear.  That’s right!  I am a cheater and a liar!  Before you contact my home church to have my ordination certificate revoked, let me explain.

On Sunday morning’s I try to be at my best.  I go to bed early on Saturday evening, double-check to make sure my clothes match, and “pray up” before meeting the public.  Sometimes it takes a lot of effort to be in the spiritual, mental and emotional place necessary to deliver God’s truth to His congregation.  In reality, many Sunday mornings I am fighting a head cold, sore muscles, discouragement, and on a few occasions depression.  But I know, to do what I need to do, I need to put on a front.  On occasion, a staff member or elder who knows I am struggling will see me in the hallway and ask me how I am doing.  “Doing good!” is my normal response.  They smile because they know better, but we also both understand how it is.  We have to be confident and strong for the sake of others who are hurting.

Incidentally, if I know I am lying and another church leader knows I am lying, and I know he knows I am lying, is that the same as telling the truth?  Never mind.  I know the answer.

I actually think staying focused and strong as I am preparing to preach is a good thing.  I don’t want my problems to be a distraction.  Yet, I must find a way to be authentic, even if it involves confessing my hurt in a purposeful way in my sermons.  I must also take opportunities to pour out my heart to people I trust, and allow them to pray for me and comfort me in my distress.  If I don’t I can become a slave to expectations, and a spiritual fraud.  More than one servant of God has shipwrecked on the shoals of pretense.

Do the expectations of others ever lead you to lie about your circumstances?  Do you think this kind of lie matters to God?  Why or why not?

Dear God, what do You expect?  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

“Keep your eyes on your own paper!”  Every teacher knows the importance of these final instructions and every student understands the consequences of failing to heed them.  Occasionally, a teacher might provide the following philosophical addendum: “If you do look at someone else’s answers you are only cheating yourself.”

To be honest, the fear of getting caught always carried more weight with me than the thought I might cheat myself.  But as I have aged, I have come to appreciate the wisdom of the latter.

When we compare our trials with others, we run the risk of damaging our relationship with God and inhibiting our personal growth.  Yet we do it.  We can’t help but wonder why others have fewer trials, lesser trials, and shorter trials.

Comparisons frequently overlook the unique story God is telling in our lives.  In other words, our test sheets are one-of-a-kind.  While we seek the same truth, we pursue its application in a variety of ways.  For example, not everyone who has overcome a struggle is wired to counsel others through the same.  Some are better in support roles, and others prefer to encourage through kind acts.  The healing process differs, depending on the severity of the wounds and the experience of the individual.  Therefore, it makes no sense to be anxious over our perceptions that we are somehow failing in comparison to others going through similar trials.  God’s grace and comfort are available to all, but His calling is different for each.

How prone are you to look over the shoulder of others going through a trial?  Do you ever feel inadequate in light of how others are working through their circumstances?

God, help me remember I am unique in Your eyes.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I encourage others to find areas of their lives they can control, while reminding them not to be so consumed they forget to lean on God and the people He sends into their lives.  Talking through a crisis is usually a first step in this process.  Sometimes the simple act of sharing information with others is enough to help us see our circumstances from a new perspective and reduce our anxieties.  When we go through a trial, finding a way to control what we can while letting others help us orders our steps and strengthens our awareness of the hope God has put before us.   (last week’s post)

We structure the flow of comfort into our lives, find normalcy in personal influence through control, and lastly look for cause.  Cause is the line of logic that seeks to answer “why?”  More general than “why me?” and “why now?” the simple undesignated “why?” assumes an intelligent being is capable of influencing circumstances around us.

Why did an SUV slam into a tree killing its driver and sparing its passenger?  Did the driver err?  Was he intoxicated?  Did the driver, unlike his passenger, forget to buckle his seat belt?  Did he swerve to miss a pedestrian?  Was there a mechanical malfunction in the SUV’s steering system, or did a tire blow out?  Was the passenger’s life miraculously saved because God had a job for him to do?  Was the driver’s life lost because his work on earth was complete?

Mechanical and technical “whys” can involve painstaking investigations, but offer definitive answers.  NASA’s space shuttle program, while wildly successful, will be remembered for two disasters involving shuttles Challenger and Columbia.  Challenger exploded during its ascent due to a faulty O-ring.  Columbia broke apart on reentry as a result of broken heat shield tiles.  When the cause of these tragedies was discovered, measures were introduced that prevented the same malfunctions from occurring again.  Still, one wonders: was there a higher purpose at work?  Apollo 13 also suffered a catastrophic accident while orbiting the moon.  Yet, the crew of Apollo 13 returned to earth alive.  Why?

These parallel investigations involving the mechanical-technical and higher purpose causes represent two very important thought processes for anyone working through a trial.  I should probably clarify that my use of the word “cause” is not tied to a being, but rather a sequence.  Whether God caused or allowed an event, we still want to know if He had anything to do with it.  Did it happen be-“cause” there was a divine purpose at work?

I used to cringe when loved ones talked with police officers or doctors about the grizzly details of a loved one’s death.  It seemed to me such facts only accentuated the pain.  In some ways, they did, but in other ways they were all a part of coming to terms with the cause.  Piecing together why something bad happened seems to help people move forward.  Sometimes they moved forward with great anger and resentment, but they moved.

Unfortunately, finding a higher purpose is more difficult than uncovering a crime or discovering a faulty piece of machinery.  On occasion I have met people who are convinced their circumstances are a part of a bigger plan.  Some have even told me why they believe God allowed them to suffer.  But in most cases, I find feelings of confusion, anger and abandonment.

This is where I teach the Biblical principle of contending.  It is nearly impossible to accept the fact there are questions we can’t presently answer, or may never answer, if we don’t believe we are free to be honest with God.  It is fine to say, “God, I don’t like it.  I don’t even agree with it.  But I am going to live with it because I trust You.”  It is also healthy to admit to ourselves the higher purpose “why?” may not be revealed for many years, or ever.  To the extent we are able to find peace with this conclusion, we can begin to experience God’s healing.

If we don’t stop to ask how we wish to be comforted, what we need to control, and how we are going to investigate cause, we will find ourselves with too many answers and not enough time to orient ourselves to the questions.  Defining how we are going to approach each makes resolution more realistic and helps us create a timeline to resolve later what we cannot comprehend today.

How to you organize the questions that arise when you face a trial?  Have you ever tried to answer too many questions at once?

Dear God, help me think it through.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

In my own life I appreciate a larger group knowing my struggles,  but I only reveal the full extent of my pain to those I trust not to share my heart with others.  We are all different in this regard, and we do need to be careful we don’t limit God’s intervention in our lives by pushing people away.  Yet, clarifying how we wish to manage the compassion we need helps everyone.  (yesterday’s post on “comfort”)

The second need, control, is closely related to comfort.  The desire to bring definition to the way compassion is shown demonstrates the value we place on orderliness in our lives.  Most people I meet at the center of a crisis are desperately seeking some sense of control over their circumstances.  We understand this human trait instinctively, which is why we give the people we love space to pursue their compulsions.

We can establish control in our lives and still acknowledge we are not in control of everything.   For example, believers know God is in control.  With the psalmist they proclaim, “The LORD reigns, let the nations tremble; he sits enthroned between the cherubim, let the earth shake.” (Psalm 99:1 NIV)  Yet, though we know God is in control, we still need to know we have the power to personally influence events in our lives.  This is why we find those who have lost loved ones cooking, cleaning and administrating instead of letting others serve them.  When people can’t do something about everything they do everything possible about something.

When my father died, I was spared the stress of planning a funeral because my parents had already worked out the details.  And my mother was very capable of managing.  My control issues had more to do with emotion.  My brother and I spoke at the funeral, which was certainly an emotional experience.  However, it was my grieving process that stirred my obsessive instincts.  I couldn’t determine the time and place of my father’s death, but I could choose those I allowed into my circle of pain, and when.  I had no desire to mask my feelings around my wife, who was on the journey with me, but I did guard other relationships.  And thankfully, those around me understood.  Ironically, I would sometimes share my grief with hundreds of people from a pulpit because it was a place I could control.  Since people don’t normally talk back to a sermon, I was able to restrict the scope and depth of my revelations.

I encourage others to find areas of their lives they can control, while reminding them not to be so consumed they forget to lean on God and the people He sends into their lives.  Talking through a crisis is usually a first step in this process.  Sometimes the simple act of sharing information with others is enough to help us see our circumstances from a new perspective and reduce our anxieties.  When we go through a trial, finding a way to control what we can while letting others help, allows us to order our steps and strengthens our awareness of the hope God has put before us.

How do you believe controlling our environment can help us through a trial?  How can it hurt us?

Dear God, help me remember You are ultimately in control.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

I believe discovering what we need most is the key to taking our first step when our faith has been rocked by a trial.  The answer is certain to vary.  Some people need to be held and reassured the people around them aren’t going to desert them in their hours of need.  Others need someone to help them sort through initial feelings of shock, disappointment or anger.  (yesterday’s post)

Three needs seem to be fairly consistent among those facing a crisis.  These are not the only needs, nor are they expressed the same way in every situation.  They do, however, provide a starting point for the all-important first steps of a journey.  I call these three, “comfort”, “control” and “cause.”

We seek comfort from God and others when we are hurting.  We know God is a compassionate Father who cares for us through angels, the providential unfolding of circumstances, and the love of His people.  The Psalmist once wrote, “When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought joy to my soul” (Psalm 94:19).

I have met people who find great comfort in making everyone aware of their needs, and I have known those who were only willing to open their hearts up to a select few, or one.  In most cases it becomes quickly evident to everyone how those who are struggling wish to be comforted and by whom.  Normally, this is a natural and healthy development, and a good first step.  Defining for others what we want in the way of comfort helps ensure our needs will be met while our personal space is protected.

In my own life I appreciate a larger group knowing my struggles,  but I only reveal the full extent of my pain to those I trust not to share my heart with others.  We are all different in this regard, and we do need to be careful we don’t limit God’s intervention in our lives by pushing people away.  Yet, clarifying how we wish to manage the compassion we need helps everyone.

What comforts you when you are going through a trial?  How do you communicate to others how you wish to be loved?

Dear God, help me help others help  me.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

How then, do we organize our steps?  Unfortunately, our struggles don’t come to us on a test sheet with three or four possible solutions.  Instead, they flood into our lives like huge tidal waves, and as we fight to regain our composure we are knocked down repeatedly.  How can we think about a next step when the ground we hope to stand on has disappeared and we find ourselves treading water in an endless bath of froth and debris?

There is no perfect framework to guide us through these frightening experiences that define our human condition.  In the case of the fire my church family experienced, we made ministry our priority.  Yes, it was necessary to hire contractors to secure the remains of our facility, and to begin the long journey that would ultimately bring us to a new piece of property and a new facility.  But many of these things could wait.  It was more important to find temporarily locations where our congregation could gather to worship, establish communication that kept people connected, and continue to meet ongoing needs in the lives of those who were hurting.

I believe discovering what we need most is the key to taking our first step when our faith has been rocked by a trial.  The answer is certain to vary.  Some people need to be held and reassured that the people around them aren’t going to desert them in their hour of need.  Others need someone to help them sort initial feelings of shock, disappointment or anger.

Can you remember a time when you had trouble knowing where to turn or what to do?  Who or what helped you find your first step?

Dear God, lead me to the help I need.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.