storiesofvalue

…upright (Titus 1:8d)

Our culture feels a little uncomfortable in the presence of the word “upright.”  And I think I understand why. 

“Upright” can be interpreted as arrogance.  In other words, people can put more trust in their own righteous actions than the grace of God and communicate a sense of superiority to others. 

“Upright” can be used as a façade.  Every now and then a public figure’s life implodes and we are shocked at the revelations that follow.  It is true, sometimes things are not as they appear and a life that seems nearly perfect in every way fails the test of time. 

“Upright” can be used to abuse.  Once a standard is determined for those things that are good and right, we must decide how we are going to encourage others to follow it.  We have probably all been in the position of having our behavior enforced by someone who is, as they say, “no better than we are.” 

So we resist the “upright.”  We don’t want to be one of them, and we don’t want to be around them. 

This is sad, because “upright” is good.  In the context of leadership, who wants to follow someone who has no moral anchor?    

Technically speaking, the word “upright” in our text this morning is probably referring to one’s relationship to God’s law.  Even though followers of Jesus are not judged by the law, it is still a reflection of God’s heart and an example of the attitude and life He desires.  In principle, someone who is “upright” before God is someone whose life is “right” with God.  He has done everything possible to please God, and has shown godly sorrow in those areas where he is lacking.  And, of course, for the believer he is someone who has accepted the righteousness of Christ.

Allow me to toss out a random and somewhat meddlesome thought about the “upright” life.  Since a leader’s goal is to ultimately please God, sometimes he is called on to make an unpopular decision.  More than one church leader has entered a dark valley when others have disagreed with something he felt he had to do to remain true to his understanding of God’s will, biblical truth, and personal conviction.  Sometimes his struggle is a result of his refusal to divulge damaging information that could discredit the very people who are most critical.  And other times, he is merely leading through a storm of confusion where clear answers are few.

This is exactly why an “upright” life is important.  Sometimes a leader just has to stand on his own integrity because no one else has the perfect answer to a challenge, and he is the leader.  This doesn’t mean his solutions will be perfect either.  But if he is a sincere seeker of God’s will, and if his moral and spiritual life is above reproach, there is a really good chance, when the clouds clear, people will discover they are at the best place they could have hoped to be.

So, don’t discount “upright.”  Sometimes, it is all we have.

Dear God, show me the way of the “upright.”  In Jesus’ name, Amen.   

…who is self-controlled (Titus 1:8c)

If you are the leader, it is harder to find someone to control you.

Let me put it another way.  When we are not the leader, we can be irresponsible and still contribute something to a team.  Obviously, if we never show any maturity we will wear people out and they will eventually tell us to hit the road.  But to a degree, we can survive reckless behavior because after all…we’re not in charge.

But when you are the leader, unless you have a governing board that evaluates you on a daily basis, it is up to you to control yourself.  In fact, one of the most frightening aspects of leadership is that those who follow you will seldom confront or correct you.  History is littered with the incredible stories of leaders who inherited thrones, and destroyed generations of hard work by their predecessors because they were inept.  And as their empires crumbled around them their subjects had little choice but to stand by and watch it happen, or organize a coup and risk death.

The absolute worst-case scenario is for a leader to use his position of authority to fuel an irresponsible lifestyle.  And within this scenario the most likely opportunity for a total disaster is a leader in charge of his own business who is accountable to no one.

In church leadership, we usually do have systems of accountability.  Aside from our assumed sense of accountability to God, we have other leaders who are willing to advise and confront us.  And most church leaders have others in their lives they look to for perspective and guidance.      

On the other hand, there is a down-side to spiritual leadership when it comes to this area of self-control.  You might call it the “holy man” clause.  People will often put up with a lack of self-control on the part of their spiritual leaders because they figure it isn’t their place to confront someone who is “called by God.”  After all, if someone is a servant of the Lord and they cross a line, He will take them out…right?

The bottom line is, no matter where, who or why we lead, when it comes to controlling our words and actions, if we are a leader the best form of discipline is self-control.  This doesn’t mean we are on our own.  When we participate in accountability relationships, we are practicing self-control.  When we spend time in prayer and show godly sorrow for our sins we are asking God to help us control self. 

However, as leaders, we can’t afford to forever expect others to hold our lives in check.  Leaders must be mature enough to behave with integrity.  Only then can they be an anchor for others whose lives are falling apart. 

A word of comfort: all good leaders lose control from time to time.  But if we take our roles seriously, we won’t expect others to rein us in. 

Dear God, help me keep it all together.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

…one who loves what is good (Titus 1:8b) 

Our culture has lost the beauty of wholesome.  

Let me clarify where I am coming from, so you don’t think I am just boring.  Wholesome is not a synonym for “no fun.” 

By wholesome I don’t mean old-fashioned, although many old-fashioned experiences certainly fit the definition.  I am not talking about a world before television.  After all, what could be more wholesome than Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, Jeopardy, or NCAA Basketball?  And while I still love a good game of checkers, I also like video games, even though I’m not very competitive (at video games that is…I am dangerous at checkers). 

Wholesome is not necessarily defined by the form (though it can be), but rather by the message.  And the fear I have is that our culture is increasingly less capable of finding creative ways to express its message without resorting to unwholesome tactics. 

Unwholesome includes words or actions that are ungodly and add nothing to a story, movie, television show or activity.  Unwholesome is the sexual exploitation of people to sell a product, if not the people themselves.  Unwholesome is the need one has to resort to sinful behaviors for self-promotion, because getting attention is more important than contributing something meaningful to society.  

And so, when I see someone try to sell a product, promote a cause or gain a following by soliciting baser instincts, I can’t help but think: “What they are trying to say has no substance, so they have chosen a form that disguises the void.”

Leaders who love what is good surround themselves with and engage in those things that are constructive.  They don’t waste their time or money on things that harm others or undermine foundational truths on which society depends.  

Spiritual leaders have a sense of “good.”  They recognize those things that come from the heart and mind of God.  They know what is profitable for the healthy development of persons and the well-being of the Lord’s church.

Not long ago a man who makes his living organizing events commented on a party some believers had thrown.  He said, “That’s the most fun I have ever had with a group of people who weren’t drunk!”  I considered his statement a triumph for wholesome thinking and a victory for the testimony of the Lord’s people. 

Whatever the activity, I can’t help but remember something they used to say in the country when I was a kid: “You don’t have to sin to have a good time.”

There I go…being old-fashioned!

Dear God, show me the beauty of wholesome.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

…rather he must be hospitable (Titus 1:8a)

What is hospitality?  Most people associate it with inviting others into our homes.  But I know from experience the mere act of giving someone a place to eat or sleep doesn’t fully describe this special gift. 

When I was in Bible College, I had weekend ministries for all four years.  During the first year, when I was a Youth Minister, a family offered me a bedroom to treat as my own.  Because they raised cattle we had steak almost every night!  And every now and then I would get in my car and discover someone had filled up my tank with the gasoline that was stored for the tractors.

My next three years were spent with some of the most wonderful people you can imagine as I preached in small churches in Indiana and Kentucky.  I never had another steak gig like I did my first year, but I was treated like family, and had tons of people willing to serve as surrogate parents and grandparents.  It there were exceptions, they were so insignificant compared to the overall experience, they aren’t worth mentioning.

Yes, hospitality is caring for people in our homes, but at its core it is the desire to make people feel like family, so they have a base from which to serve, or in some cases regroup.  In Paul’s day this was important because traveling teachers didn’t have the resources to provide for all of their needs as they moved from town to town.  And on occasion, when their safety was threatened, they needed a place to drop out of sight.

Hospitality is the act of opening our homes to others in the name of Christ, but it is also expressed collectively by a church family.  The greeting we extend to guests who visit with our congregation in worship is hospitality.   

So why “must” leaders be hospitable?  As suggested already, in the first century hospitality was a matter of survival for traveling teachers, and leaders…well, they had to take the lead in caring for their needs.

But I think, perhaps hospitality is mentioned here in contrast to those who seek “dishonest gain” (1:7).  Those who seek “dishonest gain” are always looking for a way to use the Lord’s church for their own purposes.  Those who are “hospitable” are always looking for a way to use what God has blessed them with for the Lord’s church. 

I don’t think the “must” in Paul’s list means every leader must offer everything he has to everyone, all the time.  We all have limits, and sometimes we have to create boundaries for the welfare of our spouse and children.  But our attitude should be one of sharing.  And we should enjoy letting others use what God has given us. 

I know how much hospitality meant to me as a young minister who served in new places with people I didn’t know that well.  I learned first-hand how God uses leaders who share to prepare others for service.  And a core group of leaders of this kind can’t help but set the tone for a church with an open heart.

Dear God, teach me to make others at home.  In Jesus’ name Amen.   

…not pursuing dishonest gain. (Titus 1:7e)

I want to offer a disclaimer before I begin.  Sometimes we unwittingly reinforce unfair stereotypes in our effort to teach a truth.  Nowhere is this more so than with the subject of leadership. 

My grandfather, who is still remembered in his community as a good and decent man, had a long career as a politician (and a tobacco farmer).  I still remember him fuming when people tossed out the term “dirty politician” as if it were synonymous with public service.  So please join me in being careful what we say about any profession (including the ministry of our Lord).   Leaders who lack good morals and ethics really are in the minority.  And I like my grandfather, fume when others go for a cheap applause by implicating them. 

So why do we hear so much about bad leaders?  I believe the answer is both simple and discouraging.  Even if 99% of the leaders try to do the right thing (I will accept this % might be a little high, but stick with me), it only takes 1% to undo everyone’s reputation. 

Such is the damage done by a minority who pursues dishonest gain.

Maybe I should clarify what is meant by dishonest gain.  It is pursued by those who are willing to defraud others for the sake of personal glory, power, or wealth.  Some examples would be those who embezzle, lie about their competitors or misrepresent themselves. 

What causes someone to cross the line between the honest and dishonest pursuit of success?  The answer to this question is varied.  Look up “embezzlement” on the Internet and you will also find a lot of articles on the addiction of gambling.  Some people seek dishonest gain because they find themselves deeply in debt.  Others justify their behavior because they believe they have been mistreated or overlooked by others. 

And then, some people are just corrupt to the core.  My father used to talk about a man he knew who was so crooked when he died they had to screw him into the ground.  I used to laugh at this.  Now I want to know who he was so I can go his grave and see if it is true.  The older I get the more plausible it seems.

Of course, the first thing that comes to mind when one thinks of “dishonest gain” is money.  But there are other possibilities.  A leader can use his position to profit his business, or gain favors for his friends and loved ones.  Sadly, after he gets what he wants, he is often no longer that interested in leading the Lord’s church. 

Therefore the motivation of “dishonest gain” in church leadership is dangerous in more than one way.  It leads to corruption, but it also stands in the way of sincerely seeking the Lord’s will for His people.

Please, praise your leaders and assume they are always trying to do what is best for your church family.   There is a 99% chance they are.  But if you are a leader, proceed with caution and always make sure your heart is in the right place.  The damage wrought by a misplaced heart can be 100% disastrous.

Dear God, purify my motives.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.    

…not violent (Titus1:7d)

Sometimes other translations of the Bible have a way of rounding out our understanding of a passage.  This is because translators must sometimes decide between a primary or secondary meaning of a word, depending on the context.  But the two meanings put together can complete a picture. 

In the old King James Version of the Bible “not violent” is translated: “not a striker.”  Indeed, the first meaning is of one “ready to strike a blow.”  So it is safe to say an elder should not be someone who is carrying a chip on his shoulder, and is apt to lash out in a violent act with little provocation.

I have always heard people who use violence as their primary means of communication have not learned how to express their thoughts and emotions in healthy ways.  In fact, this is why a lot of small children have to be taught not to hit.  They can’t always find the words or the means to share their unhappiness.  So they hit.  And their mothers work tirelessly to teach them a better way.

It is possible for this trait to follow a child into the teenage years, and on occasion into adulthood.  To complicate matters, as people grow older, they face complex frustrations that require delicate diplomacy.  And they hit…or worse. 

Please understand, this “not violent” characteristic doesn’t mean a leader should never use physical force.  If an intruder is threatening his family, he certainly would not be expected to stand in the corner and say, “I would like to help, but I’m not a striker.”  No, he should employ every method of persuasion, including the use of force to protect his loved ones.  The same is true of those who uphold the law, locally, nationally and internationally. 

Rather, the flaw being exposed here is the inability to process a threat and act with wisdom.  It also reflects one’s inability to think of the welfare of the church body and the tone an attitude prone to violence can set. 

My father used to talk about families that love to fight.  He used to say, “If they don’t have a reason to fight, they will make up one.”  I tend to think a “striker” has this philosophy.  Given enough time, and a few unresolved conflicts, he will find himself in the middle of a ruckus.  And when other members of the church family see how he handles conflict, they will follow his example.  After all, why should people ask for God to help them navigate a problem when they can just put a fist through it?

Given the personality conflicts Jesus’ apostles had with one another, I can’t remember a single incident of a physical skirmish between them (please let me know if I am mistaken).  I find this amazing since at least four of them were rugged fishermen and one was a tax-collector.  Surely, they would have found something to fight about. 

I imagine they did.  But they didn’t hit.  They must have had good mothers.

Dear God, teach me how to manage conflict.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

…not given to drunkenness (Titus 1:7c)

As they say in the country, “Now you’ve gone to meddling! 

Alcohol has never been a part of my family or personal life.  Well, this may not exactly be true.  You see, my father’s father was a “problem drinker” and my father almost followed in his footsteps.  But when he gave his life to Christ, he turned his back on drinking and some of the ills it had produced in his family.  So, in some ways, my father’s experiences with the effects of alcohol did impact our home…in a good way, I think. 

But I also want you to know I am not a crusader on the subject.  If I attend a community event and people sit down next to me with alcoholic drinks, it doesn’t bother me.  And if I am at a race track and lots of people around me have beers in their hands, I don’t pay any attention to it (as long as they don’t spill it on me).

However, when I see Christian people drink in excess or see Internet posts of young believers celebrating their first drink, I am disappointed.  And, as many do, when I hear about someone’s life that has been ended by a drunk driver, I get very angry.  Some of my feelings are misdirected, I’ll admit, because I often see the horrific effects of alcohol in my ministry, and because of my upbringing.  But some of it is justified.  The Bible doesn’t condemn the drinking of alcohol, but it does drunkenness, and I fear more people than we would like to admit don’t understand or care about the difference between the two.

This morning’s character reference for elders simply means they are not to be drunk.  It does not prohibit them from drinking alcohol in moderation.  But as I write this, I appeal to leaders everywhere to consider their witness as leaders, and recognize how important it is for them to show the utmost moderation in this area, and possibly even forego their liberty to drink alcohol altogether.  Realize this is just an appeal based on my personal observation and ministry to those whose lives have been destroyed by alcohol.  It is not a directive from scripture.

But let’s get back to the matter at hand: drunkenness.  Someone who is under the influence of alcohol has an impaired judgment.  They are not capable of acting on the foundational principles that normally guide their lives, and they sometimes say and do things that hurt others.  Although I am not familiar with drinking first hand, I do understand some people can drink more than others and still manage their behavior to a point.  But I also know there are those who delude themselves into thinking they are in control of their faculties, when in fact they are not. 

It is easy to see why drunkenness would not set a good tone for spiritual leadership.  It would be damaging to one’s ability to make wise decisions or contribute to the collective wisdom of a leadership body.  And if a congregation had a ministry to people recovering from the abuse of alcohol it would undermine any serious notion that the church was sensitive to their circumstances.

I hope I have been fair on this subject, while sharing my personal perspective.  And while I don’t have a problem with alcohol, please know I have lots of other issues.  As a friend of mine likes to remind me, “We all got issues.”

Dear God, help me see leadership from other people’s perspective.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

…not quick-tempered (Titus 1:7b)

And elder must be “not quick-tempered.”  Notice, Paul doesn’t say an elder should never get angry, but rather that he should not be quick to anger. 

A “quick-tempered” person can go from “0-60” on the anger scale in less than a second.  He is like the proverbial time-bomb who jumps to conclusions and is set-off by the least little thing. 

There are some other passages of scripture that help describe the problem of “quick-temperedness.”  Proverbs tells us only a fool gives “full-vent” to his anger (Prov. 29:11).  James tell us we should be “quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger” (James 1:19).  Incidentally, James says a lot of other great things about anger in his first chapter.

So “quick-temperedness” is not a desired trait for anyone, and certainly not for a follower of Jesus who wants to set a good example.  Even non-believers know they need to control their tongues and their actions for the welfare of all and the future of their relationships with others.

As well, secular leaders with quick tempers are not usually effective for long.  Leaders need to be angry at the right things, but if they are angry about everything they are not likely to build the kinds of teams that endure. 

And so we come to spiritual leadership and the subject of anger.  Please know, this morning’s passage does not suggest a spiritual leader should never be angry, but in my humble opinion his expressions of anger should be very carefully placed, appropriate to their audience, and righteous in their cause. 

I don’t have the perfect test for righteous and unrighteous anger, but experience tells me destructive anger is the kind we show when we don’t get our way or someone disagrees with us.  Constructive anger is what we show when we see an injustice, or a moral wrong.  But even in these cases, anger that leads is not “vented” but carefully directed. 

We all need a place to vent.  I have people in my life who are willing to listen patiently while I blow off steam.  They also give me direction on a course of action.  However, venting anger is not leadership.  Those who believe it is should not lead.

This area is going to be a bigger challenge for some than others.  By nature, I am pretty even-keeled unless I am tired (then, look out).  I can take in a lot of frustration, but I have to be careful because when I reach my limit I might cash in everything on the people who happen to be around at the time.  Others are more quick-tempered, sometimes by nature, and sometimes because they work or live in environments where they are under constant pressure. 

God can help us manage our anger as He continues to work on our passions and priorities in life, and teaches us to be better listeners.  I believe He also give us the wisdom to know how to redirect our anger, even if it means we put on some jogging shoes and run until we drop.

I have been there more than once.                       

Dear God, help me be quick to do the right things.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

Since an overseer is entrusted with God’s work, he must be blameless–not overbearing (Titus 1:7)

In an earlier devotion on Titus 1:5 we reminded ourselves of three New Testament words for “elder.”  This is the verse where Paul said he left Titus behind in Crete to appoint elders in every town.   I though it would be helpful to repeat a section of that devotion here:

“The word used here (Titus 1:5) for “elders” is “presbuteros”, which refers to an older man or an office of leadership, with experience implied.  There are other words used for elder in the New Testament, such as “episcopos” which is translated “overseer” or “bishop”, and “poimen” which is translated “shepherd” or “pastor.”  Of course, all three can be translated “elder.”

In today’s passage, the word “overseer” comes from the elder term “episcopos.”  The old King James Version translates this word as “bishop.” 

As I have worked with the three terms that describe an elder, I have discovered it is wise not to be too definitive in distinguishing them from one another.  However, they do have some distinctive qualities. 

For example the term “poimen” definitely focuses on the spiritual shepherding of individuals.  But it also suggests the visionary leadership of a collective church body.

As well, this morning’s term “episcopos” has to do with the oversight of everything God has entrusted to His church, suggesting more of an administrative role.  Yet, some of the things elders administrate are the systems that in turn shepherd people, such as small group Bible study structures.

I mention all of this to give some context to Paul’s idea that the “overseer” or “bishop” is not to be “overbearing.”  The word used in the Greek for “overbearing” carries with it the idea of one who is arrogant or self-willed.  If the term “overseer” refers to the administration of systems, or ministries in the church, then it is easy to understand the destructive nature of such an attitude. 

A leader needs to be confident, but he also needs to be a good listener.  He needs to respect the talents and passions of others and find a way to position people where God can best use them for His purposes.  Leaders must know what they are doing, while not assuming to know everything.

If we miss this dynamic, in anything we lead, we will find ourselves controlling rather than leading, which is not at all what Paul had in mind when he used the term “overseer.”  I think this is the point of his statement, “not overbearing.”  The “overseeing” of the Lord’s church requires an understanding of human nature, a grasp of spiritual formation, and a glimpse of God’s will for His people.  And in my experience, there has never been a time when I had a perfect handle on any of the three, let alone all of them at once.

Therefore, Paul’s instruction not to be “overbearing” is really a call to humility.  And anyone who has been a leader for any amount of time probably knows a little bit about humility.

Dear God, help me oversee with Your eyes.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

…a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient. (Tit 1:6c)

Once again, we come to a character profile point that has been the subject of much discussion.  As with the “husband of one wife” discussion, how one interprets this morning’s verse has a lot to do with whether it is seen as a man’s family status, his faithfulness with what he has, or both. 

In other words, does this verse mean a man must have children to be considered for the role of elder, and if so, do those children need to be old enough to believe, and as well, how mature in their faith should they be?

Let me jump ahead to the second part of this verse for a moment to put the answers to these questions into context.  I will pose another question.  What is the purpose of selecting an elder with believing children who are not “open to the charge of being wild and disobedient?”  For the answer to this question, we have a direct reference in the Bible.  In 1Timothy 3:5 the Apostle Paul wrote, “If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God’s church?”

Therefore, the purpose of this qualification is not just so an elder’s family can be an example to others, but also because it says something about the elder’s ability to lead the bigger family of God. 

I encourage you not to just think of spiritual family management as one of strict discipline.  There are many factors that go into one’s ability to lead a child in his faith.  An overly critical parenting style, while well-intended, may actually turn children away from the Lord.  Why would a child want to live for the Lord if it means his mistakes will always be paraded before others?  The same is true of an overly permissive parenting style.  How does a child learn to honor God when he doesn’t honor his parents?

Parenting is a delicate blend of love, discipline, hope, guidance, and care.  And as we consider these qualities, they sound distinctly similar to that of a shepherd…which is exactly Paul’s point. 

Now back to one of the first questions I posed.  It is possible for a man to demonstrate these qualities even though he doesn’t have children of his own.  I think so, especially if he serves in an area of church life where his ability to mentor young people has been proven.  Every church family must decide how narrowly this morning’s verse should be interpreted.  This is especially challenging in a new congregation in a community of young adults where few are married, and are not likely to have children of believing age. 

One thing is for sure: how one leads his family and the dynamic that exists between a man and his wife and children will certainly impact how he cares for the church.  This is a dynamic that requires much wisdom and prayer when selecting an elder.

Dear God, help me mentor others with a shepherd’s heart.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.