storiesofvalue

Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, and do not share in the sins of others. Keep yourself pure. (1 Timothy 5:22)

The subjects addressed in today’s verse are all matters of character…

The “laying on of hands” referenced here is the setting apart of men to the role of elder in the church.  It was customary for those assuming the eldership, or any other ministry on behalf of a church family, to have hands laid on them by other leaders.

It was possible for this wonderful act to be miscarried if performed in haste.  In other words, if Timothy selected men to serve in the role of elder without taking time to discern their true character, or because he wanted to show partiality to certain individuals, he could regret it.

How long should we wait before setting a man apart for the eldership?  The Bible doesn’t give a definite time-frame.  Since we want to insure he is a man with a good reputation, we surely need time to allow others to share their respective perspectives.  It is also good to see a man serve in person to understand his heart and evaluate how he responds under pressure.

At this point I am going to interject a personal opinion.  I say it is an opinion because I cannot support it with scripture.  It is merely an observation.  During the early years of my ministry I served in churches in communities where good leadership was hard to come by.  We had some great men in our congregations, but they were not leaders.  It was difficult to find someone with a deep knowledge of God’s Word, a shepherd’s heart, and visionary leadership.  Every now and then a man would move to our community, or leave another church family to attend our congregation who came “pre-packaged” to lead.  By this I mean he was all of the things I have mentioned here and more.  He may have served as an elder in his previous church, preached, or functioned in other ways as a leader.  More than once we immediately placed a man like this in the role of elder, and more than once we were sorry.  It isn’t that these men were not good men, but rather that we failed to take time to make sure they were philosophically in agreement with our ministry, or that they weren’t bringing unhealed wounds with them from another experience.

What seems good and even urgent can turn out to be hasty.  It is also possible, when Paul added, “And do not share in the sins of others”, he was adding parenthetically, “don’t select elders too quickly, because you might be letting your relationship with them blind you to their weaknesses.”  Paul’s words could very well be a call to impartiality, and a desire to care as much about our integrity when we choose leaders as we do that of the leaders themselves.

One thing is for sure: it is a lot easier to pass on a leader who may not be ready or well-suited than it is to confront and dismiss one who should not be leading.

The more I think about the job Timothy had before him, the more I respect him.  I can’t imagine the challenges he faced, and the way he must have struggled within himself to choose the right leaders.  But from all appearances he did the best he could as God worked through Him in his circumstances…

…which is all God expects of any of us.

Dear God, guide me in this important task of leadership.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses.  Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.  I charge you, in the sight of God and Christ Jesus and the elect angels, to keep these instructions without partiality, and to do nothing out of favoritism. (1 Timothy 5:19-21)

Wow!  What do you make of Paul’s words here?

The first part of this passage is not all that complicated.  It is supported by Jesus in Mathew 18.  Here is the passage: “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.  But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’  If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:15-17)

Of course, Jesus’ words in Matthew refer to a brother who has wronged us and not an elder who is sinning, but the cultural norm of two or three witnesses is consistent.  I have been around long enough to know how stories can be embellished, and how brothers and sisters in Christ can knowingly lie to one another.  I used to think this was improbable, but now know some people will do almost anything to protect their egos.  So we would not want to entertain an accusation against any leader without proof.

It is the public rebuke that is problematic in this morning’s passage…at least for me.  And in carrying out this instruction, Paul warns Timothy not to cut anyone any slack, regardless of his relationship with them.

There are three considerations that immediately come to my mind.  First, is Paul talking about a public rebuke before the church family or can the same thing be achieved by communicating the sin and confrontation in a more discreet manner?  Secondly, if such a rebuke is to be performed before the church, should it involve unbelievers or “guests” as we call them in our culture, or only church members?

Third, what kind of sin requires a public rebuke?  Is Paul thinking of an ongoing immoral lifestyle, such as a sexual affair or embezzlement from the church body?  Does the list include public drunkenness or any other infraction of the qualifications we found for elders earlier in our study of 1 Timothy?

I will be honest: my personal preference would be to discretely rebuke an elder if there is sufficient proof that he has disqualified himself from his role.  Then, he could be asked to share his circumstances with believers in the church body only, and in a way that would not bring greater pain to his family.  I would even suggest he could share his circumstances in a letter, or have other elders do it for him.

So I hold my personal preference up against Paul’s words: “Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.”  Keeping in mind that we should not go against scripture, how close or far away do you think I am in my preference?  I think I know the answer…and it isn’t to my liking.

Dear God, help me follow Your Word, even when it goes against my nature.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.  

The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.  For the Scripture says, “Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain,” and “The worker deserves his wages.” (1 Timothy 5:17-18)

It is important to remember, while the New Testament describes leadership roles in the church (elders, deacons, evangelists) it doesn’t give us specific commands regarding how things are to be organized.  This morning’s passage reminds us the leadership structures we find in the early church were varied and creative.

In Timothy’s situation in Ephesus, he was directed by the apostle Paul to instruct others so they, in turn, could be teachers (2 Timothy 2:2).  Timothy was not called an elder, and many people see him as a first century model for full-time ministers who serve in our churches today. 

Yet, in today’s passage we find elders in the early church often devoted so many hours to the work of the church they were financially compensated.  The phrase, “Do not muzzle the ox” is a metaphor which reminds us people who make their living serving the church should have their financial needs provided by the Lord’s people.  This is still the case today.   Some churches refer to elders who fit this category as “paid elders.”  Others place elders in full-time staff positions where they serve alongside other full-time ministers who are not designated as elders. 

I am not sure how to determine when an elder is worthy of “double-honor” and should be financially compensated for his work.  In my estimation, every elder I serve with in my present ministry deserves to be paid.  They work hard for the Lord’s church, in addition to their other jobs that put bread on the table.  But they willingly forego what they deserve so the church can afford to support people like me in full-time church leadership.  For that I am very grateful.

If you have elders in your congregation who direct the affairs of the church well and serve faithfully in preaching and teaching, and you are not in a position to compensate them, or they refuse to be compensated, be sure to show them “double honor” in other ways.  At the very least support them, and help them with their ministry by being willing to serve where needed.  Give faithfully to the ministry of the church so they don’t have to agonize over how they are going to pursue God’s vision for the body.  And give them the benefit of the doubt when they are unable to meet everyone’s need or solve every challenge.

Cards of thanks are nice too…as are personal words of encouragement.

In the church I serve we accept the fact the greatest status people have is when they visit as a guest.  From that point on they move toward the core of church leadership.  If they become elders they have become the greatest servants of all.  That’s why our elders don’t think of their ministry as a “position” to be held, but rather a function to be performed for the Lord.

If you know an elder, honor him.  You have no idea how many people needs he is carrying on his heart.  And you also have no idea how much your kind works will mean to him.

Dear God, thank You for those who are deserving of “double honor.”  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge.  Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying things they ought not to.  So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.  Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan. (1 Timothy 5:11-15)

Ok…let’s go over the list of criteria for widows who should be helped by the church, as it stands in our study:

1.  She should not have family who can care for her.  There is an additional reminder of this policy in the form of a principle in 5:16 – If any woman who is a believer has widows in her family, she should help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.

2.  She should not be prone to spend what time and resources she has on a sinful lifestyle.  Instead, she should be someone who looks to the Lord for her sustenance.

3.  She should be at least 60 years of age.

This brings us to the obvious question: “What are those under the age of 60 supposed to do?”  Paul has an answer…or rather two options.  The two options are a little difficult to state accurately, but here is how I see them…

Option #1 – A young widow who chooses to remain single should make sure she is not overcome by her sensual desires, but remains dedicated to Christ. 

Option #2 – A young widow who has trouble controlling her sensual desires should marry, have children, and manage a household. 

I don’t think Paul is picking on women here.  It is just that the subject is young widows, a group made up of women.  He talks about young single men in other writings.  He is merely saying women in this group, as those of either gender in any group, need purpose in their lives.  Without it, they slip into the habit of saying and doing the wrong things, at the expense of the right things. 

I believe it is up to all believers to help young widows through this very difficult time in their lives.  Although they are not on “the list” Paul references here, I don’t think that prevents the church from reaching out to them and helping them financially until they are able to care for themselves, especially if they have children.  I am convinced “the list” is a long-term solution for older widows. 

These are very difficult teachings, and I think we should remember Paul’s intent is to make sure people who need help receive it, and that those who don’t need help are not allowed to deplete the resources that could help those who do.  We need much wisdom in understanding how this all looks in real life.

Dear God, help me be wise with your resources, and loving and gracious in their application.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the saints, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds. (1 Timothy 5:9-10)

Just to keep track of the criteria Paul has been establishing for widows “in need”:

1.  They are not in need if they have family members who are capable of caring for them.  This does not mean a widow’s church family should not be there for spiritual and emotional support.  But if she has family members capable of meeting her financial needs, they should accept responsibility for her welfare and not take advantage of God’s people who are trying to help those who are truly in need. 

2.  They are not in need if they are using the resources they have to feed their pleasures, while not looking to God as their source of strength and guidance.

Now we discover widows are not in need if they are under the age of sixty, and they should not be put on a list for assistance if they have been unfaithful in their marriage, or have failed to show kindness to others.

Wow!  These rules are pretty tight aren’t they?  But they are scriptural…and this leads us to a difficult topic of discussion.

Throughout my ministry I have heard people say the church should not be about rules and policies because God is a God of grace, not Law.  Aside from the fact this logic is not grounded in good theology (the subject of Law and grace relates to how we are saved and not how we structure ministry for the efficient and effective use of God’s resources), it also is absolutely not true.  If it were, we would have to cut passages like 1 Timothy 5 out of the Bible. 

In my experience, people who don’t like rules and policies, and use the subject of Law and grace to fight against them, are usually just unhappy with the particular rules and policies that get in the way of the things they want.  And upon further examination they usually have rules and policies of their own, crafted for their own purposes and ministries.  What I am suggesting is the debate over rules and policies usually comes down to who is in authority, and who is not, and the spiritual conversations that take place are a smokescreen for the intent of the heart.

The truth is, the New Testament is full of rules and policies, handed down by people like the Apostle, and carried along by the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.  Sometime they seem rigid, and to be honest some of Paul’s words here make me uncomfortable.  But as I have grown older I have discovered rules and policies have to be established, even in the Lord’s work, because there are people who will take advantage of a church family.  And all of the religious sounding language in the world can’t hide the fact that those who are not in need should be meeting the needs of others instead of asking others to meet needs in their lives that don’t really exist.

When we are frustrated by the rules and policies of others we would do well to ask ourselves whether or not we would like to operate our business, organization or personal life without them.  It isn’t easy saying “no”, but it is biblical.

Dear God, help me find the balance between truth and compassion.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.   

The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help.  But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. Give the people these instructions, too, so that no one may be open to blame. (1 Timothy 5:5-7)

This is a complicated passage because it can be interpreted in so many ways.  What do you see?

Do you see the widow who is really in need sitting at a table in a dimly lit bedroom, pouring over the word of God every waking hour?  Is she wearing a plain, floor-length black dress with long sleeves and a black covering over her head?  Does she refuse to put on make-up or wear jewelry, and are there dark circles under her eyes from her continuous mourning?

And is the widow who lives for pleasure staggering around drunk at the local club?  Is she dressed provocatively and does she cuss incessantly?  Is she promiscuous?  Do men lavish her with expensive gifts and money to support her sinful practices? 

Do you see what I mean?  We all have our own pictures of the difference between the two widows Paul depicts in his letter to Timothy.

I think the key to understanding Paul’s words is remembering the context of the bigger passage.  Paul is trying to help Timothy discern how and how much the church should be involved in reaching out to widows.  The issue seems to be determining whether a widow is truly in need.

We have already seen that a widow is not really in need if she has family members who are capable of helping her.  Church leaders should be concerned about the widow, but their first responsibility is to remind her family of their biblical role in caring for their loved one.

Now we see that the lifestyle of the widow herself helps define her need and the responsibility of the church to meet that need.  The contrast Paul draws is between someone who looks to God to help her in her distress and someone who turns to a licentious lifestyle for the same purpose.  My understanding is that the church should try to help widows financially if they have no family to help them, and if they are honestly trying to live for God.

On the other hand, widows who have family with money, and who spend what money they have on sinful practices don’t need financial help from the church.  This does not mean they don’t need spiritual help from the church or that they should be shunned as a result of their lifestyle.  It just means the church family should not feel guilty about not supporting their behavior or negligence on the part of their relatives. 

Paul is not saying widows should lock themselves in a dark room.  There is nothing unspiritual about a widow who enjoys life within social circles and finds fulfilling work in her community.  And if she has the money to travel and shop, she should enjoy her blessings, as long as she doesn’t become self-absorbed. 

This morning passage is really about the limited resources of the church and how it can be managed efficiently and effectively.  And as you may know, coming to terms with a workable system is no easy task.

Dear God, help me discern how to help the most people with the resources you have given me.  In Jesus’ name, Amen. 

…older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. (1 Timothy 5:2)

Today’s passage is a continuation of Paul’s earlier direction: “Treat younger men as brothers…”  These instructions regarding women are particularly important because Timothy is a young man.  Paul has already encouraged him to live a life of purity, suggesting moral self-discipline.  But now he gives specifics.

I imagine Timothy faced many temptations in the city of Ephesus.  He was young, single, respected, and supernaturally gifted.  And he lived in a pagan culture where a high value was not always placed on morality.  He also, undoubtedly, had critics, which means he was vulnerable to women who were good at healing bruised egos. 

What was the solution?

Timothy needed to see other women as members of his family.  They were his mothers and sisters.  And having a sensual affair with your mother or your sister was just…well…wrong on many levels.  I’m not saying it doesn’t happen.  I am just saying…

Of course, it wasn’t just the impropriety of such relationships Paul was addressing.  He was also using relationships in a healthy family as a model for relationships in the church.  If you don’t have a healthy relationship with your mother or your sister, this point may be problematic.  But even if this is the case, you may still know families that show you how things are supposed to function.

A mother cares for us and nurtures us, and we respect her because of the sacrifices she has made.  A sister cheers us on and understands our struggles.  After all, she was raised in the same environment we were, and if we have been wounded, there is a good chance she has too.  Briefly put, mothers and sisters are on our side, and they relate to us on a unique level others cannot. 

There is also a protective aspect at work here.  Even families that argue from time to time stand up for one another.  Because we love one another we don’t want to see each other hurt.  So why would a brother in Christ do anything, or allow anything that would bring harm to his mother or sister in Christ? 

Can a brother cross a line of purity with a woman in his spiritual family and claim it is for love?  If she is married can he put her, her husband and children through a living hell and say he cares deeply for her? 

No.  If he loves her he will only do everything possible to help her maintain her character and dignity.  And if a spiritual brother and sister are single and free to marry, the brother will not ask his sister to do anything that might cause her to feel shame in the sight of God. 

Relationships are tricky, and establishing healthy boundaries with members of the opposite sex in the church family is filled with snares from the evil one.  But seeing older women as mothers and younger women (all women, in fact) as sisters is a good place to start.

Dear God, help me keep my thoughts pure.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, (1 Timothy 5:1)

Timothy had been charged with the task of refuting false teachers and guarding the doctrinal purity of the church in Ephesus.  He was relatively young and there were those who would use his lack of experience to discredit him.

Yet, Timothy had a lot going for him.  He was a personal friend and ambassador of Paul, and had received a supernatural anointing of some sort through the laying on of the apostle’s hands.  Timothy was young, but he was no novice.  He had a good reputation long before Paul chose him to help him with his ministry.  And from all appearances Timothy’s life was godly. 

Still, he had to be careful.  There were certain social and interpersonal mistakes that could damage Timothy’s ability to lead.  One was the unwise treatment of older men.

In most cultures, age is something to be honored.  While it is true the aged are sometimes overlooked, and those in this number who are weak are taken advantage of, for the most part, age still evokes respect. 

But this doesn’t mean older men are necessarily more spiritual than younger men, or more likely to be right.  In fact, for years I read this verse so quickly I failed to recognize the obvious: Paul is telling Timothy to rebuke older men!  He is merely saying he should do it carefully, as a son to a father. 

How does a son treat his father?  I suppose the answer to this question differs with circumstances.  However I must say I have met sons with fathers who possess difficult personality traits, who still find a way to show them proper respect and honor.  Under most circumstances, no son wants to publicly humiliate or rebuke his father.  This should be a general rule with any older man.  Nothing impacts a man more than the belief someone is attacking his reputation, and a public rebuke is the worst approach. 

Therefore, when an older man must be rebuked, it must be done in a way that does not intentionally attempt to discredit him.  This does not mean there is never a point at which someone’s teaching must be refuted in public.  Yet, the older I have become, the more I realize how much value people put on their reputation as they age.  After all, if we are young and we make a mistake, we can chalk it up as youth, and we have our whole life to make things right.  But when we are old, our life is the sum total of every decision we have made, and we have less time to prove to others we are any different from what we are perceived to be.

In the same way, an older man must not seek to embarrass a younger man in front of others.  In fact, Paul tells Timothy to treat younger men as brothers.  I think he is talking about a healthy relationship with a brother where we are honest with one another while wanting the best for one another. 

As they say, “boys will be boys” and men of any age are going to have disagreements.  Egos are going to get involved.  If we aren’t careful we will lose sight of the very truths we are trying to preserve.  I think this is what Paul wants us to avoid.

Dear God, teach me to treat everyone with respect.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through a prophetic message when the body of elders laid their hands on you. Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers. (1 Timothy 4:13-16)

Since the historical context of Paul’s letters to Timothy are off the Biblical grid (meaning, we don’t have an historical narrative describing Paul’s travels after his first Roman imprisonment), we cannot say for certain whether Paul ever made it back to Ephesus.  There are some interesting websites that address the question: “Did Paul return to Ephesus?”  Keep in mind, everything is speculative, but you might enjoy doing a little research, so type it in and see what happens.

In the meantime, as Paul was waiting for an opportunity to visit Timothy, he encouraged him to keep preaching and teaching.  The gifts of “preaching and teaching” must have been a part of the spiritual anointing Timothy received when he began his ministry.  We don’t have a record of the event where the elders laid hands on him, but Paul tells us about his personal role in the matter:   “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands.” (2 Timothy 1:6)  Perhaps Paul is speaking of the same event.  Some have also suggested (since Paul was an apostle and possessed miraculous gifts), he may have actually been the one who imparted supernatural abilities to Timothy through a “prophetic message.” 

The study of who had the ability to impart spiritual gifts in the New Testament is an important one, and I would also encourage you to do a little research on this subject if you have the time.  The “laying on of hands” (which we call an ordination) did not have to involve a supernatural gift.  It was, in essence, a “setting apart” for service, in which the Holy Spirit was involved.  But it does appear, in Timothy’s case, something extraordinary was involved.

Yet, even though Timothy was supernaturally gifted, it was up to him to be “diligent” and “watch his life and doctrine closely.”  In fact, isn’t it true the more gifted we are, naturally or supernaturally, the more important it is for us to manage what we have been given?

When I read the last verse of our passage this morning, I thought about something Paul once said of himself.  He was talking about the difference between righteousness and self-righteousness and using the metaphor of an athlete to make his point when he wrote:  “No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:27) 

What we correct in others is always complimented by our personal lives and convictions.  I have been corrected in my ministry at times, and I can honestly say when the message came from a person of character who loved me, I received it.  I can’t say I always wanted to receive it, but I received it.

The important thing to keep in mind is, we can’t wait until we need to point out a problem in someone’s life to decide we are going to be the example we should be.  The example comes first.  Then, if God calls us to guide another, we have something to offer.  How are you preparing for this possibility?

Dear God, help me develop my example.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)

Sometimes a bigger context helps us see things in a clearer light.

We should not see these words of Paul to Timothy as those of an experienced servant to a novice.  Timothy was undoubtedly young (or Paul would not have referred to him as such), but he was not a beginner. 

Remember: Paul trusted Timothy with the task of refuting false teachers in Ephesus.  And they weren’t just any false teachers.  They were among the most aggressive, and deeply embedded one could find.  And along with these, there were also many pagan influences Paul had battled during his time in the city.  Ephesus was not a place where everyone met rationally on the steps of public buildings to listen to teachers with an open mind.  There were “wolves” present and trouble-makers that would literally tear a man apart (Acts 19).

The fact that anyone would look down on Timothy for his youth had nothing to do with his lack of ability, but rather with the tendency of his opposition to find any reason to discredit him.  Therefore, Timothy needed to watch his “life, love, faith and purity”. 

Do you find it strange that false teachers would be critical of Timothy, or anyone else, for the way they conducted their lives?  After all, weren’t they personally exploiting the Lord’s church for their own purposes?  Who were they to talk?

It doesn’t matter.  When people are not allowed to get what they want, or aren’t given the places they think they deserve, their typical reaction is to criticize and undermine.  Of course, in doing so they discredit themselves, but they don’t seem to mind as long as they feel they have hurt the people they resent.

Poor Timothy!  He had to watch everything he did, love others in spite of the way they treated him, and demonstrate an unwavering faith in God.  And at no point could he afford to give others a reason to think he was doing or thinking anything unholy. 

I have personally taken Paul’s advice many times in my ministry.  The kind of people Timothy was dealing with in Ephesus can act like toddlers throwing tantrums to get their way, or bullies pressuring others until their discouraging words finally begin to take root.  There are effective ways of dealing with these personalities, but more than anything, one must be an  example.  That’s what good leaders do.  They show others, by their actions and reactions how the household of God should function…even under conditions that are less than ideal.

Will these threats ever go away?  No.  As long as people want things they don’t get there will be those who try to tear others down. 

But by being an example, leaders of God give those who follow a choice.  And most people, in their better moments, will follow a life of character, love, faith and purity.  “Hang in there Timothy!”

Dear God, teach me to lead by example.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.