storiesofvalue

People always feel safer around someone they believe understands their circumstances.  This is why wise politicians strive to be transparent about their personal heartaches.  They know how easy it is to become detached from their constituents in the course of governing.  But when a government leader is diagnosed with a serious illness or suffers a family tragedy, the line that separates the powerful from the less fortunate seems to disappears temporarily.

I don’t mean to suggest those of us who worship and serve in a local church are above others, but rather that others sometimes perceive us that way, at least spiritually speaking.  We must never forget how intimidating the church can appear to those who don’t know Christ, or even those who do but have been alone in their walk for many years.  This isn’t necessarily because we have purposely done anything to create this perception or that cultural stereotypes regarding Christians are fair.  But true or false, fair or not, those who are outside of Christ or out of fellowship with His church are often uncomfortable around us.  If they are ever to catch a glimpse of the 100% Jesus, they need to know we are a source of comfort, even as we have been comforted.

In our desire to change how others view us, we must remember to maintain a biblical balance between grace and truth, comfort and conviction.  As we have seen, these two aspects of the mourning process are inseparable.  God’s truth is filled with grace and grace is itself one of His most foundational truths.  At Calvary the penitent thief received comfort from Jesus as he died for his criminal conviction.  One of the reasons I appreciate Luke’s account of the woman who anointed Jesus feet is because it presents a straightforward picture of sin, repentance and forgiveness.  Jesus didn’t excuse the woman’s sins, but He did offer her compassion and an opportunity for a new life.

In the same way, people who reach out for the hope Jesus gives aren’t just looking for acceptance.  They want something that can change the course of their lives for the better.  It is true they may not be receptive to everything God has to say, but they come expecting to hear something of substance.

The good news is, if we are mourners we are in a position to share the whole counsel of God.  We have experienced sin and loss, but have embraced the Lord’s forgiveness and healing.  Mourners don’t have to be incredibly clever in their efforts to draw others to Jesus.  They point the way by example, and those who come to know them are able to witness living proof of the gospel’s power.

How Mourning Changes Others’ View of Us

Sinners loved Jesus.  Well, at least the ones who were willing to admit they needed a healer loved Him.  So did those who were estranged from the religious community because they were suffering from a chronic illness or just happened to have the wrong pedigree.  When I say they loved Him, I am not referring to the obvious draw of Jesus’ miraculous power over disease, or even the attractiveness of His teaching.  These things were good, but there was something else people came to see.

In Luke 7 we find a sinful woman in the home of a Pharisees named Simon anointing Jesus with an expensive perfume.  As she poured her heart out before the Savior her tears fell on His feet, then she kissed His feet and wiped her tears away with her hair.  Simon was shocked!  He reasoned to himself if Jesus was truly a prophet He would know a sinner was touching Him.  Jesus answered Simon with a parable about a money-lender who forgave two debtor; one a small amount and the other a large one.  Jesus asked, “Now which of them will love him more?”  Simon correctly discerned the one who had been forgiven more would love more.  Jesus concluded, “Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven–for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little” (Luke 7:47).

This is why people flocked to Jesus: His ministry gushed forth grace.  He was the Great Mourner.  Somehow they knew.  Somehow they always know when they are not going to be turned away in the name of religion.  Real grace is a pure reflection of God’s heart and even the prospect of a painful restoration process can’t dissuade those who truly want to be healed.

From last Monday:  Maybe you have a “pastor’s heart” too.  Has Satan ever tried to destroy you with a personal sin that had to be removed through a painful process of self-evaluation and conviction?  If so, then you understand how much others hurt when they reap what they sow.  Do you know what it means to live in the dark pit of depression and come to a place where you don’t care whether you live or die?   Then you can show patience to those who seem stuck and have lost the desire to take positive steps for their own welfare…

I have talked with former mourners who vowed they would never be those people who turned their sorrow into a ministry to others.  They have said, “That’s not me.  Once I get through this I don’t want to talk about it again.”  But as time passes and they watch others suffer as they have, their perspective changes.  They finally come to the place where they can’t stand by and do nothing.  Their heart compels them.

This may be one reason, among many, why the Pharisees and Jesus had such different philosophies of ministry.  Although Jesus was sinless, He understood human suffering, and was willing to take on the role of a Good Shepherd who lays down his life for his sheep.  The Pharisees, on the other hand, claimed self-righteousness and looked down on anyone who failed to live up to their standards.

Jesus was a mourner.  He was the prophesied suffering servant of Isaiah 53 who was “despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.  Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted” (Isaiah 53:3-4).

It is true, there are those who become bitter as a result of personal pain and spend the rest of their lives thinking the world owes them something.  But most of the mourners I know eventually embrace the “pastor’s heart” and are willing to do almost anything to ease the burden of those who come behind them.  If you have suffered in life, my guess is you have this kind of heart, and since the moment you found yourself in a place you thought you would never be you have never seen others quite the same.

How Mourning Changes our View of Others

In the Preaching Ministry people sometimes refer to a “pastor’s heart.”  Sometimes this term is merely a synonym for a “caring heart”, but it may also suggests a pastor has experienced the personal wounds of sin and loss and has the ability to connect with those going through the same on a deeper level.  In turn, as he walks through the valley of despair with others he gains insight into suffering through their journey and grows in compassion.

It has been my observation, however, that this so-called “pastor’s heart” is not exclusive to those who have been formally trained in ministry.  Perhaps people have grown accustomed to using the term because it helps them divide us preacher types into those who seem aloof or controlling and those who sincerely care about people.  Yet, I have found the “pastor’s heart” in many contexts.

Several years ago I performed a funeral for a deputy sheriff who helped manage a local jail.  He worked closely with inmates who were trying to prepare for life after their release and cared enough to connect with them on the outside to see how they were doing.  My deputy friend had a “pastor’s heart.”  I know a school teacher who gives her children personal books to take home and goes out of her way to make sure her less fortunate students have the supplies they need.  She has a “pastor’s heart.”

Maybe you have a “pastor’s heart” too.  Has Satan ever tried to destroy you with a personal sin that had to be removed through a painful process of self-evaluation and conviction?  If so, then you understand how much others hurt when they reap what they sow.  Do you know what it means to live in the dark pit of depression and come to a place where you don’t care whether you live or die?   Then you can show patience to those who seem stuck and have lost the desire to take positive steps for their own welfare.

In the pathway to joy we must understand there is a distinct difference between the pain inflicted by Satan as he seeks to keep us in bondage and the discipline of the Lord as He leads us to freedom.  Satan fills our lives with empty promises and beats us down to keep us in His clutches.  God builds our lives on truth and shepherds us through the valleys to still waters.  At times, the two experiences can feel similar, but the motivations behind them could not be more different.

The writer of Hebrews encourages us to embrace God’s discipline because it is a clear sign of His concern for our welfare: ‘And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?’ (Hebrews 12:5-7)  It is natural for children to dread the discipline of even a loving father, but they learn to accept it if it is delivered in love and produces a positive outcome.

It is also important to realize the Lord’s discipline is active in all kinds of mourning, whether it is a result of sin or circumstances over which we have no control.  Regardless of the source of our personal suffering, Satan will try to use it to gain a foothold in our hearts, and God’s truth is always our best defense.  In fact, I have counseled as many people who are innocent victims of suffering as those who have brought trouble on themselves.  It seems the conscientious are always concerned they will sin and bring dishonor to the Lord, and as a result they usually grow in their devotion, although others would be hard pressed to find anything wrong with their spiritual walk.  This is why we find ourselves running into the arms of our heavenly Father, ready to do whatever He asks for the sake of receiving His comfort.    

If mourning holds such great promise in our lives, why does it frighten us?  Why is it hard for us to grieve openly, or to enter into a time of personal restoration?  Could it be, similar to our future resurrection, we dread the transition points of moving from life to death to life again?

One of my favorite books as a child was “The Story of Ping” by Marjorie Flack.  You may already be familiar with the story.  Ping was a domesticated Chinese duck who lived on the Yangtze River.  One day his master released him, along with the other ducks, onto the riverbank to feed.  When it was time to leave, Ping realized he was going to be the last duck to return.  He knew the last duck always got spanked as a reminder to be more prompt, so he hid.  After a day on his own, Ping decided being separated from his family was worse than the punishment he might receive.  When he saw the boat by the bank he raced to catch it and arrived just in time to get spanked, before waddling on board.

Alright, so maybe getting a swat on the tail feathers may not be as dramatic as the decision to enter a time of mourning.  But it does illustrate how our present fears can stand in the way of God’s will for our lives and a renewed sense of community.  There are other obstacles as well, such as pride, arrogance, bitterness and regret.  Mourning always involves letting go or putting to death those things that stand in our way of receiving God’s comfort.  The key is to desire healing and restoration most of all, and to long for joy so much we are willing to suffer in order to find it.

From Friday…But we must remember the beatitudes are not as much about our circumstances as they are about how we respond to them.  We can’t change the past, but we can forge a different future.  At this juncture the act of mourning prepares us for a blessing and to be a blessing….

The Bible is full of mourners.  It might seem ironic to some that the “Good Book” would be so full of sorrow, but one of God’s greatest gifts to us in His revealed Word is the transparency of human drama.  We remember David’s lament at the news of His son’s death, “O my son Absalom!  My son, my son Absalom! If only I had died instead of you–O Absalom, my son, my son!” (2 Samuel 18:33)  But we also remember David’s sorrow over his personal sin with Bathsheba and his longing to be clean again: “Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow” (Psalm 51:7).  The Bible even contains an entire book of mourning called “Lamentation”, considered to be the prophet Jeremiah’s painful perspective of the destruction of Jerusalem and the temple.

In the New Testament, parents mourned over the loss of their children (Luke 7:11-15), Jesus mourned over the loss of a friend (John 11:35), and disciples mourned over their failure to be faithful under fire (Luke 22:61-62).  Yet, mourning in the Bible was never considered a permanent state.  In fact, it was known to be a necessary part of the healing process.  In a Psalm prepared for the dedication of the temple David wrote, “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

Perhaps you have cried yourself to sleep and awakened to a new day with a new sense of God’s presence and hope.  Sometimes our pillow is filled with many tears over a period of many months, but the dominant theme in the Bible is that mourners will be comforted and even in the midst of life’s greatest heartache God is working.

The Pathway to Joy

I once served in a little country church where it was common to “bless” those who were hurting, or failing.  If someone messed up they were more likely to hear, “Bless your heart, honey” than to be criticized publicly.  Don’t misunderstand.  People still succumbed to the temptation of gossip, and on occasion those who suffered were neglected.  Yet, there was an assumption that painful seasons were temporary and with God’s help and the support of His people, even the most unwanted experiences could be redeemed for good.

Still, the notion that someone who mourns should perceive the experience as a blessing sounds absurd.  When we mourn over the loss of a loved one our hearts ache.  Comfort comes through the loving words and actions of others, but it is hard to imagine any blessings we might receive could possibly make up for what we no longer have.

Sorrow over sin isn’t much different.  Yes, we appreciate the assurance from others that better days are ahead, but given the choice we would rather turn back the clock to rewrite our story.  Blessing we are offered in the process of healing still doesn’t hide the fact it would have been better not to have sinned at all.

But we must remember the beatitudes are not as much about our circumstances as they are about how we respond to them.  We can’t change the past, but we can forge a different future.  At this juncture the act of mourning prepares us for a blessing and to be a blessing.

In truth, God will accomplish His ends regardless of whether or not we choose to follow Him.  This is why Jesus didn’t say, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they will help God succeed.”  Instead, He promised us a kingdom inheritance.  By virtue of our surrender to the Son and His purposes we have entered into a new citizenship.  Our reward is a front row seat where we see His glory revealed.

Zealous passion for kingdom work and a growing understanding of God’s will define our existence.  It is amazing, and sometimes downright shocking to follow Jesus’ first disciples as this persona emerged.  When James and John started out, they were ambitious men who saw Jesus as their ticket to political influence.  Why else would they have allowed their mother to solicit the right and left positions at Jesus’ future throne? (Matthew 20:21)  In time, however, they would discover what it meant to be kingdom servants.  James would soon die for his faith and John would face persecution and exile.  John gives us an additional point of observation through his writings, where we see him transformed from the one who wanted to call down fire upon the Samaritans to an ambassador of love.

The same can be said for almost all of the disciples, notably Peter and the Apostle Paul who was “abnormally born” (1 Corinthians 15:8).  It is easy to see why Judas, the exception to the case, failed to develop.  He never grasped the right passion or pursued understanding, but continued in his fallen human state, reaping what he sowed.

“Poor in spirit”, therefore, is really a choice.  It represents the thing or the one to whom we have sworn our allegiance.  When we offer our lives to Satan he beats us down and robs us of our worth.  Then we are poor in every way.  But when we surrender to Jesus, He lifts us up and empowers us for ministry.  We reign with Him in His kingdom and find ourselves riding on the crest of eternal conquest.  Such is the life of those who are willing to filter out the old self repeatedly and receive their inheritance with thanksgiving.

We see, however, that while Jonah found obedience in the belly of the fish, he was hardly poor in spirit.  Obedience is a sign of spiritual life, but it is possible to have one and not the other.  In the fish Jonah cried out to God, “What I have vowed I will make good” (Jonah 2:9).  True to his promise, when the word of the Lord came a second time commanding him to go to Nineveh, he went.

But something was still not right.  Jonah’s feelings toward the people of Nineveh was unchanged, and he resented God’s decision to redeem them.  More than this, he sat on a hillside east of the city and asked God to take his life!  That’s right.  Jonah singlehandedly led an entire city to repentance and saved them from destruction and yet was so angry with God he wanted to die!  He had a poor attitude, but not a poor spirit.

Yes, in the process of understanding God’s will we must be obedient servants, but God also wants us to do the right things for the right reasons.  He wants us to understand His heart and act on His behalf.  The rebel says, “Why do I need to obey?”  The one who is poor in spirit says, “Show me why so I can obey you more.”