storiesofvalue

Armchair Quarterbacks are Everywhere!

It’s playoff season! Perhaps you are still yawning from Monday’s late-night overtime period to determine this year’s college football champion.  On the professional football front, the playoff teams are set and the journey to the Lombardi Trophy begins this Sunday.

Have you seen any bad calls yet? Any coaching mistakes or poorly thrown passes?

Unless you have found a parallel universe where people don’t make mistakes, my guess is you have. Not only are there mistakes in football, but we have the advantage of watching the games on large high-resolution televisions with instant replay from multiple angles.

In slow motion.

It’s fine to watch football with these amenities, and even yell and scream at the screen when things don’t go our way. As long as we are self-aware.

We are not as talented, physically, as the people we are watching. We lack their conditioning, and if we had to play a full game, we would be huffing and puffing on the line of scrimmage by the end of the first quarter.   Or the first play.  The crowd would rattle us.  The other team would intimidate us.  To borrow an old adage…

… “It ain’t as easy as it looks!”

But we still make the calls from the comfort of our recliner. We tell the coach who to play, accuse the referees of bias and wonder why 19 year-old kids make mistakes when thousands of people are cheering and an opponent is preparing to use his body as a missile against them.

“Ahhhhh….Dear, can you bring me some more salsa and chips?”

It’s no mystery we make calls in other areas of our lives, whether or not we are in a position to speak authoritatively. How so?

We tell other people what they should have done and what we would have done had we been them.

We judge people’s hearts and decide for ourselves whether or not they were giving their best.

We talk about other’s weaknesses.

We lay blame.

Some armchair quarterbacks even make fun of others and heap insults on them.

On social media if necessary.

But this doesn’t mean nothing physical is happening.  I have reached the conclusion armchair quarterbacks are actually involved in an aerobic activity.  When they attack the television screen they receive a rush of adrenaline.  Something happens with their chemistry when they tell an experienced coach he is an idiot or a talented player he is a loser.  Tearing others down feeds their ego and makes them feel good inside.

I don’t remember when I recognized this truth in myself, but I freely confess I have been guilty.  I have put others down to experience the rush that comes with the feeling of superiority.  It’s an addiction.  It’s also wrong (1 Thessalonians 5:11).

I still yell at my television screen during a big football game. After all, I’m an American!

But I try to remember the truth. The truth is, I am just a spectator, and until I have the talent, stamina or opportunity to line up with a team in a championship game, I need to keep my opinions in perspective.

Although I don’t think I would miss a short field goal in a big game.

How hard can that be?

Three Reasons I Don’t Need More Reasons

From time to time I see a post validating a human opinion with “reasons”.  It seems if we can provide a list of observations supporting our opinion it carries more weight.  The most popular lists of reasons are seven and ten since biblical numbers add even more credibility to one’s views.

This year I have vowed not to read any opinion lists. Here are my three reasons why (I remind you three is the number of the Trinity):

Opinion lists often mischaracterize others. They are laced with assumptions and presumptions, half-truths and insinuations. Lists play into stereotypes in an attempt to evoke a collective “Yea! That’s what we’re taking about!”  But in the end, mischaracterizations are unfair and dishonest.

Opinion lists often take scripture out of context. It is amazing how a verse from the Bible can appear to prove something it does not. When something is not a clear matter of salvation we must make sure we are not leveraging the Word of God for our own purposes.  In the movement of churches I serve we have a slogan that says, “In essentials unity, in non-essentials liberty and in all things love.”

Opinion lists are often crafted in ways that insult and judge others. They claim to be humble, biblical and unbiased, but they can reflect hidden discontent and ill-will. List makers are certain they have proven they are right.  Their targets sometimes dig in their heels and fight back.  No one wins and the cause of the kingdom suffers.

Actually, I haven’t sworn off lists completely. Here are two for your consideration:

There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: ¹⁷ haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, ¹⁸ a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, ¹⁹ a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers. (Proverbs 6:16-19)

And God spoke all these words: ² “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. ³ “You shall have no other gods before¹ me. ⁴ “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. ⁵ You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, ⁶ but showing love to a thousand  generations of those who love me and keep my commandments. ⁷ “You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name. ⁸ “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. ⁹ Six days you shall labor and do all your work, ¹⁰ but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. ¹¹ For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy. ¹² “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. ¹³ “You shall not murder. ¹⁴ “You shall not commit adultery. ¹⁵ “You shall not steal. ¹⁶ “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. ¹⁷ “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.” (Exodus 20:1-17)

My suggestion for the New Year? Work on these lists first, and when you have them mastered, then you can start on some of your own.

Why I Put the Magi at the Manger

Some Christmas traditions are non-biblical. This doesn’t mean they are necessarily un-biblical or contrary to fact.  It’s just that they involve conjecture in areas where the Bible is silent.

For example, we don’t know how Mary traveled to Bethlehem, but it only makes sense a pregnant woman would not walk the entire distance. So the donkey story works.  A wagon might have been better under the circumstances, but it could very well have been a donkey.

Then there is the pesky topic of the Magi. Most manger scenes place them there with the shepherds on the night Jesus was born, but the prevailing theory is that they came later.  Why?  For at least two reasons.

When the Magi arrived at Herod’s palace, he inquired as to the circumstances that led them there to see the One who was to be born King of the Jews. They told him they had followed the star from the east, and it was the timing of the appearance of the star that led Herod to kill baby boys in Bethlehem that were two years of age and younger.  It is easy to see why this would point to a late arrival by the Magi.

Secondly, when the Magi found Jesus He was in a house, not a stable. It is thought Mary and Joseph transitioned to something more permanent as they waited for God to tell them what to do next.

These reasons, and the fact a word commonly used for an older child was used in the Magi reference, certainly suggests the visit came later.

But then again…

It is true Herod determined the scope of his murderous scheme by considering the appearance of the star. But we must remember Herod was a nut!  It would not be beyond him to use a two-year time frame, just to satisfy his paranoia and make absolutely sure he exterminated Jesus.  We also don’t know if Herod or the Magi had any idea how old Jesus was at the time they stopped at the palace, or what the exact relationship was between the star and Jesus’ birth.  Could the star have appeared a considerable amount of time before the birth of Jesus to bring the Magi there at the time of his birth?

There is also evidence to support the first century practice of attaching rooms to houses where animals were sheltered. The Bible only says Jesus was in a manger.  It doesn’t say He was in a stable.  If Joseph’s relatives lived in Bethlehem, it is possible a distant cousin opened his home to Mary and prepared a place in the room where animals were normally kept.  Perhaps this is the same “house” where the Magi found Jesus.  I will add that it is necessary to make the additional non-biblical presumption that Joseph set up a carpenter shop in Bethlehem to sustain his family for two years.  They could not have used the gifts from the Magi for income, if indeed they did not come when Jesus was born.

All of this means it is possible the Magi joined with the shepherds in their worship, but that none of them were standing in a stable.

This brings me to the main reason I put the Magi at the manger in my manger scene at home: The figurines belong to me and I can put them wherever I want!

Just kidding! (Although, this is true)

I put them there because it doesn’t violate a specific scriptural fact and because I like to think of everyone who saw the baby Jesus worshipping Him at once.

I wish I had been there!

So put your Magi wherever you want. Just don’t lose sight of the splendor of that night.  What a night it was!

If you don’t believe me, just ask the Little Drummer Boy.

Now that one is a stretch!

Merry Christmas.  And “pa rum pum pum pum….”

o

Are You “Out of Your Tree” This Christmas?

Some seasons in life are happier than others. Christmas is a holiday season that is supposed to make us happy, regardless of our circumstances.  But we know this isn’t always the case.

Last Christmas my wife and I almost didn’t put up our Christmas decorations. This would have been a huge departure from the norm since Christmas is one of our favorite times of the year and things like ornaments, mugs and figurines have a way of connecting us to a lifetime of memories.

It is hard to explain why we felt the way we did. One reason was certainly the fact we were traveling out-of-town to be with our family for Christmas and even our local celebrations were in other people’s homes.

We were also emotionally drained as a result of some terrible pain people we loved were experiencing in their lives. It wasn’t that it didn’t “seem” like Christmas.  We just didn’t have a strong desire to create the atmosphere in our home that had brought us so much joy over the years.

There was a time in my life when I would have thought people were crazy or “out of their tree” if they decided not to decorate their house for Christmas. Now I understand.  When all of your energy is being used to keep yourself afloat emotionally, there isn’t much left for celebrating.

Still, we put up the tree.

No, we did not believe God would be disappointed in us if we left our decorations in the box. The Bible doesn’t say anything about Christmas decorations.

We put up the tree because we believed it was something we needed to do for ourselves. We needed to reflect on our memories and we needed to create an atmosphere in our house that challenged our trend toward self-absorption.

Christmas is a joyous time of the year, but this year might be different for you. Perhaps you have lost a loved one or endured a divorce.  Maybe you are in the midst of cancer treatments, a court case or a business downturn.

Are you beginning to think you are “out of your tree?”

It’s ok. We all go through difficult times in our lives.

Do what you must, but I want to encourage you to put up the decorations anyway (literally or figuratively). We are all raised differently, but I still remember my parents responding to some disfavor on my part by saying, “You are going to do it and you are going to like it!”

Sometimes we have to make ourselves create an environment that helps us focus on better things.

Happier things.

This does not mean we are ignoring our problems or pretending we feel good when we don’t.  It’s just good advice. When life is hard, make up your mind you are not going to let Satan exploit your circumstances to make things worse.  Troubles are temporary, but the hope of Christ is eternal.

“For today, in the city of David a Savior has been born who is Christ the Lord.”

Even if you don’t feel like anyone is in charge right now, trust me.  Christ is still Lord!  No one and no thing can stand against Him.

My $2.22 Christmas Tree

My wife and I were preparing to celebrate our first Christmas together when we purchased a beautiful live tree for the church parsonage. That night I started coughing.

And coughing.

And coughing.

Around 2:00 in the morning I tossed the tree out the front door.

As a kid I had suffered from asthma and our family converted to an artificial Christmas tree. I was certain enough time had passed and the live tree would not be a problem. But I was wrong, and the next morning our neighbors saw the strange sight of the preacher’s Christmas tree in the front yard of the parsonage.  Christmas was three weeks away.

I don’t think I ever explained what happened to the neighbors. They were used to preachers doing strange things.

The next weekend my wife and I drove to a nearby town to shop for artificial Christmas trees. We found a 7 foot Scottish Pine on sale for $80.00. At the time, $80.00 was a huge chunk of change for a luxury, but we didn’t want to miss our first Christmas celebration so we made the purchase.

Last weekend we put up our tree. It’s the same one we bought on that emergency Christmas run 36 years ago. The good news is, after 36 years, the cost-per-year of our $80.00 tree has been reduced to $2.22! Oh, there are a few limbs missing, and the tree has lost some of its fluff. But at this point, we like having it around.

The price of our tree has been offset by the years we have used it. In contrast, the Christ we celebrate at Christmas paid a price once and for all, and after thousands of years the cost has not diminished in the least. As Paul writes in Romans 6:10, “The death He died, He died to sin once for all.”

There will never need to be another Christ.

Or another payment.

The price was paid once for all, and continues to cover sinners with grace, even though the earth’s population has exploded since the day Jesus died on the cross.

As we calculate the cost of Christmas this year we need to put “door-buster” deals, Internet discounts, bonus coupons and credit card points in perspective.

God spared no expense. He pulled out all the stops for the first Christmas so the world would know His plan for the redemption of mankind was unfolding.  Years later, His Son hung dying on Calvary as a substitute for sinners.

Christmas has always been incredibly expensive.

Long before it turned into a commercial bonanza, God gave His best.

His all.

Anything we try to add to the celebration is just trimming on the tree.

It is impossible to outspend God at Christmas. The best we can do is share our blessings with others so they will know His Son too.

I need to go, now. I have some old ornaments and lights I need to put on our tree.

But that’s another story.

I Almost Burned My House Down!

Last night a friend helped me install a new light fixture in our kitchen.   It wasn’t something I planned on doing.

For two years the bulbs in our kitchen light fixture have been flickering. At first there was an occasional flicker, but as time passed they grew more frequent.  Finally, the fixture died and the lights went out for good.  That’s when I called my friend.

We assumed my light switch had failed. majority of “fixture flickers” are a result of bad switches.  But not this time.  When we pulled the fixture from the ceiling, there it was…

…a charred wire.

…make that two charred wires.

My friend told me if the two exposed wires had touched they would have blown a breaker.

Or burned my house to the ground.

I am thankful we found the problem before something serious happened. Today, I have been evaluating my sanity, or lack thereof.  Why would I allow a light to continue to malfunction, knowing full well it was not supposed to flicker?  I have come up with three reasons: 1) I assumed it was a temporary problem, 2) I didn’t want to take time to address it and 3) I am an idiot.

I have ruled out number three, mostly because I have given myself credit for having enough sense to finally address the problem. I know this is a shaky argument, but since I am in control of the debate, I’ll take it.

I knew the problem wasn’t going to just go away, so I can’t honestly say I thought it was temporary. Maybe I secretly hoped things wouldn’t get worse, but I wasn’t surprised when they did.

This leaves number two.

BINGO!

I almost burned my house down because there was a problem I didn’t want to take time to address. Why?  Well, I have learned when I delve deeper into a problem, it might be worse than expected.  There are also other priorities in my life that scream for my attention.

Fortunately, my only consequence was the cost of a new light fixture. I know, I know!  If I had burned my house down there would have been other expenses.  However, now that the light is fixed, I’m good.  No harm done.

But there are other problems we ignore that can’t be repaired with a few dollars and a screwdriver. Hardly a week goes by that I don’t walk with a brother or sister through some painful memory from the past.  Abusive childhoods, addicted partners and promiscuous lifestyles leave their mark.  The days turn into months and the months into years.  One day we wake up and realize we have missed a lifetime of opportunities to bless the lives of others and use our gifts for the glory of God.

If we do nothing, unaddressed problems can indeed burn our house down. Oh, the walls may still be standing, but we are consumed by resentment and regret.

Someone once told me, “You want bad news to travel fast.” I thought he was crazy.  Now I know better.  It is best to know a problem exists so we can fix it before something worse happens.

Don’t take my word for it. Listen to the prophet Hosea: “Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.” (Hosea 6:1 NIV)  You can’t fix a problem until you are aware it exists and are uncomfortable moving forward without a change.

I think I am going to make a list of other things in my house I have been ignoring. There’s the 33-year-old stove with the broken timer, the 21-year-old air conditioner unit that has never been inspected and the 22-year-old roof with some edges that are starting to fray.

I think I can get by a little longer.

Until something breaks.

Then I’ll wish I hadn’t waited.

But what’s new?

Thanks for Nothing!

We are approaching the day when Americans intentionally show gratitude. I feel certain there are some who pass on this opportunity, and perhaps even more who give a nod to thanksgiving without taking the time to honestly reflect on their blessings.

But for those of us who take advantage of this special celebration, there are blessings on top of blessings as we discover new reasons to be joyful. This joy often translates into generosity toward others as we seek to freely share what we have received.

As I think of God’s grace showered upon my family in this season, I would like to acknowledge some things that have NOT occurred in my life, for which I am thankful. I praise God for these blessings of “nothing.”

I am thankful for the tyranny that has not found a home in my country.  I am free to pursue my passions and dreams and take my stand against injustice in the city square if I so choose.  I can cross state lines to visit others unmolested by checkpoints and bandits.  Yes, I need to be wise in my stewardship of freedom and do my best to stay clear of evil people who love to exploit others in a free society.  But, this is a small price to pay for my freedom.  It is also a much smaller price than has been paid by those who have fought in our nation’s wars to preserve the freedom we all experience.

I am thankful for the crimes that were never committed.  We live in a dangerous world, and there is a chance most of us will be victims of a crime in our lifetimes.  Hopefully, this will be limited to petty theft and a few random acts of vandalism.   Have you ever stopped to think of how different things might be if it were not for local law enforcers who risk their lives to protect us from the “bad guys?”  When we are sleeping peacefully in our beds they are calling for back-up at a crime scene.  I am thankful I can live with relative safety because others put their lives on the line on my behalf.

I am thankful for the fires that never started.  I will add that I am thankful for those whose lives have been pulled out of the flames by fire fighters.  But what about the fires that never happened to begin with?  Years of code enforcement, advancements in technology and fire prevention programs have saved countless lives.  If my smoke alarm goes off on Thanksgiving Day, its OK.  I’d rather push a reset button than rebuild a house.

I am thankful for the illnesses that never turned into something worse.  We take so much for granted in the field of medicine.  Illnesses that kill people throughout the world are stopped in their tracks in our culture with a few dabs of antibiotic cream on a cut or a simple medical procedure.   Many people in our world have to walk days to reach clinics that provide basic medical care.  Others have nowhere to turn.  We have emergency centers conveniently located within minutes of our homes and they are available day and night.  I know medicine is costly, but it’s there when we need it.

I am thankful God didn’t let me get everything I deserved.  He saved me from sin by sending His Son Jesus to die in my place.  I have the hope of eternal life because of Jesus’ victory over sin and death.  This is, of course, my greatest blessing.  But there is more!  I am thankful for the grace God has shown me that has somehow brought me though every thoughtless, dumb decision I have made in life.  I am thankful for the people He has put in my life who put up with me in spite of my weaknesses.  And I am thankful for every opportunity I have had in life I didn’t earn.

And so, God, on this special Thanksgiving Day week, “Thanks for nothing!”

And at the same time, “Thanks for everything.”

You are my “All-in-All”.

My Redeemer.

My Provider.

“Nothing” comes close to You.

The Right Thing for the Wrong Reason

Does the “why” behind our behavior matter as long as the cause is good?

Years ago a man in a church I served gave our leadership a check for $20,000. We were thankful until we discovered it came with some strings attached.  Half of the money could be used for any purpose, but the other half could only be used to create a ministry position in the church for his relative.  Furthermore, if we didn’t spend the money as he wished it all had to be returned.

We returned it.

Giving to the Lord is good. It is the “right thing”.  But whatever is right is nullified if it is done for the “wrong reason”.

Throughout my life I have watched people attempt to do the “right thing”, only to find out they were doing it for the “wrong reason”. In time, their efforts brought great pain into the lives of others.  And yet, they were convinced they were doing the will of God.

The prophet Jeremiah once penned this popular verse: “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9)  How can we examine our motives to make sure we don’t destroy the “right thing” with the “wrong reason?”

Avoid “whys” that are critical in nature. It might sound logical to take up a cause because someone isn’t doing their job or is failing to do things according to our standards.  But this assumes we are capable of perfect self-evaluation and that the people close to us are rational enough to see through our motives.  If we are doing anything because we don’t like the way someone else is doing it, and criticizing the same, there is a good chance we are doing the “right thing” for the “wrong reason.”  If God has truly called us to a cause, we shouldn’t have to criticize others to be successful.

Don’t assume because we are successful, by worldly standards, we are doing the “right thing.”  The notion that success proves God is with us is not rooted in scripture.  I am not suggesting God doesn’t go with us into battle.  The Jewish leader Gamaliel made this statement before the Sanhedrin in the case of Peter and John: “But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.” (Acts 5:39) However, just because God goes with those who do the “right things” for the “right reasons” doesn’t mean the reverse is true.  We cannot rightly say those who are successful must be doing the “right things.”  Success does not validate the “wrong reason”.

Don’t compare yourself to others. More than once in my life I have had to check my arrogance and confess the erroneous belief that I must be doing more “right things” than others because God hasn’t blessed them in ways that are obvious.  Or so I think.  Maybe God is blessing them, but I can’t see what He is doing because I have the wrong criteria.  Or maybe God wanted to use them in a bigger way, but I undermined what God was doing with my selfish behavior.  Sometimes I reflect on those times I might have damaged some “right thing” others were doing with my “wrong reasons.”  If you ever find yourself smugly handing out accolades to yourself and using the failures of others to puff up your pride, beware.  The Bible tells us a trip to the bottom isn’t far away (Proverbs 16:18).

It is good to do “right things”.

For the “right reasons.”

And to pray for others who are doing “right things.”

It is enough to guard our hearts and carry out the will of God daily.

This is definitely the “right thing.”

When God’s Timing Doesn’t Make Sense           

Today I voted. I hope you did too (or will before the day is over).

Have you ever wondered why we vote on the second Tuesday in November? Evidently, it’s because of farmers.  Not that they made the rule.  But it was because of them we vote when we do.

Ok, so it wasn’t “all” because of them. There was a time when every community could vote when they chose.  This meant some election results were tabulated and publicized well in advance of others, creating an unfair situation for candidates.

When congress decided it was best to have one election day, the day had to be determined. It was 1845 and our country was highly agrarian.  Therefore, it made sense to consider the needs of farmers when choosing a day.  Farmers went to church on Sunday, so that day was out.  Many of them took their produce to market on Wednesdays, so that day wasn’t good either.  Depending on the location of a farm, it might take farmers an entire day, perhaps two, to reach a poll.  Thus, Tuesday was chosen to allow for travel between Sunday and Wednesday.  Since farmers were busy planting their crops in the spring and harvesting in the early fall, it was thought the second week in November would offer the best timing.  Everyone could vote just before the weather became a problem.

Maybe someday the timing for general elections will change. But for now, if you are a farmer, enjoy the perk.  You deserve it for feeding the rest of us.

The timing of events usually has a cause, and once we discover it, it makes perfect sense. In the meantime, it can lead to frustration and impatience.

So it is with God’s timing.

I know some grow tired of clichés such as “There is a reason” or “All in God’s timing”, but if we believe God is in control then we must also assume there is a logic behind His timing.

The scriptures give us a few clues. In a conversation with his nervous brothers, Joseph put their minds at ease by assuring them he was not going to harm them for the pain they had caused in his life.  Joseph understood God’s timing and providence enough to be able to say, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good” (Genesis 50:20).  When the apostle Paul was prevented from a planned trip to Asia (Acts 16:6), he attributed the change in plans to the Holy Spirit who wanted him elsewhere.  Paul was also aware that sometimes God allows Satan to mess up our timing, such as in the case of the apostle’s missed opportunities to visit the church in Thessalonica (1 Thessalonians 2:18).

Peter tells us God is patient in bringing history to a close because He wants to give more people time to repent (2 Peter 3:9). And James encourages us to endure hardship as we wait on the Lord, just as a farmer waits for his crops to mature (James 5:7).

But even with these biblical insights, we are left to discern how God might be working in our specific situation. Is He allowing us to suffer in order to show patience to others?  Is our way being purposefully blocked for a greater purpose?  Has God decided to let Satan impact our plans for some ultimate good?

In time, God might show us the answers to these questions.

Or not.

Unfortunately, we can’t Google “why?” and get the answer.

Well, we can, but the answers we find on the internet might prove to be unreliable.

The best answer, as hard as it is to accept, is that “While there is a reason, we may never know the reason.” Our ability to accept this truth may require extra grace.  It will certainly demand trust.

Just know that, while God’s timing may seem mysterious to us, there is a logic behind the veil that separates heaven from earth. It could be beyond our comprehension, which might be why God doesn’t show us everything.

Until He does, I will continue to vote on the second Tuesday in November.

Unless that changes.

Which it might.

But God…

…He never changes.

And His timing is always perfect.

“You Too?”

Several weeks ago the phrase “#Me Too” went viral in the wake of sexual harassment accusations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. “#Me Too” was borrowed from (and properly credited to) a 2006 MySpace campaign by Tarana Burke.  Tarana wanted to encourage women of color who had been sexually abused, particularly in impoverished circumstances.

While the rebirth of this phrase focuses on female victims we should add male victims, particularly children, to the sad trend of sexual abuse in our culture. “#Me Too” strikes a nerve in every community and in people of every persuasion.  Followers of Jesus should not only care about this disturbing reality, but they should support and participate in efforts to address the problem.

If I may depart slightly from this important issue for a moment, I want to focus on why “#Me Too” is the perfect banner for this cause. In 1960 C.S. Lewis published a book titled “Four Loves”, which studied the subject of love through the lens of a Christian and a philosopher.  In it he wrote, “The typical expression of opening friendship would be something like, ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.’”

Perhaps this is why community is so important. When we share our lives with others and reveal our deepest secrets, we realize the fear of exposing our past is a means by which Satan exploits our pain for his purposes.  Once we compare notes with others a pattern emerges and the process of healing begins.

Jesus knew something about the healing power of “You Too?” confessions.  I use the word “confessions” loosely, knowing that sometimes the things we keep hidden are not our fault.  Why, then, do we choose to walk alone?  The answer to this question is not hard to discern, but more difficult to admit.

We are embarrassed.  When people sexually abuse us we naturally wonder if there was something we could have or should have done to avoid the situation.  Sexual abuse has the additional component of highlighting the most private realm of our human existence.  Sexual intimacy is a gift from God, but in the case of abuse it can produce misplaced shame.

We are afraid.  Sexual abuse often takes place in environments with people who have power over us.  A supervisor can influence the trajectory of our career and an accusation that cannot be proven can cost us our job and our future.  Without proof, we can be victimized a second time by those who accuse us of lying.  Since most sexual abuse takes place without witnesses, we believe our only choice is to suffer in silence.

We are wounded.  Victims of childhood abuse often have distorted views of sexual intimacy.  If this is our case, we may not understand sexual boundaries because we grew up experiencing the most horrible breach of trust imaginable.  Until we are exposed to healthy relationships we may think additional abuse we receive is a part of life or something we deserve because we are “bad” people.

I cannot tell you who to trust or when to say “You Too?” But I am convinced we cannot fully heal from past hurts without community.  This is why James wrote, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16)  Don’t be thrown off by the word “sins” here.  I think James is talking about anything that requires healing.  It might also be worth noting that one of the most powerful moments in a victim’s life takes place when her or his abuser admits wrongdoing.  But whether or not this takes place, when we find believers who are willing to help us process our silent suffering we can finally begin to put down our burdens.

It is good those who have experienced sexual abuse are finding courage in community. Community, and particularly a community of faith, disarms Satan and exposes his lies.

Unfortunately, I still carry around more than my share of personal pain. Why?

Because I am embarrassed.

Because I am afraid.

Because I was under the impression that is the way things are supposed to be.

What?

“You Too!”

Now we’re getting somewhere.