THE MAN AND THE MIRROR

During a recent bathroom renovation, I temporarily removed a large mirror that had reflected my image for thirty years.  I found this simple step disorienting because the fixture I use to shave, comb my hair, put in my contact lenses and make a general assessment of my appearance before going out in public was missing. And since mirrors add perspective and depth to small spaces, I felt uncomfortably confined.

I survived, since we have other mirrors in our house.  But I was struck by the impact the absence of something as simple as a reflection had on my senses.  Could it be my life was that empty?   Was a mirror crucial to my daily existence, and did it feed something inauthentic in my soul?  “No”, I told myself.  “My routine has merely been interrupted and this does not indicate a serious flaw.” 

Yet, as I pondered my uneasiness, I recognized how mirrors have played and still play an influential role in all of our lives.  I remembered Bible references, including the man in James’ biblical letter who sees himself in a mirror and forgets what he looks like when he walks away.  We will return to this passage in a moment, but for now, perhaps it would be helpful to review some background information. 

In Bible days, mirrors were made of polished metal, absent the glass.  Bronze was used most frequently, but silver and gold were acquired to produce mirrors for the wealthy.  Some have suggested the Apostle Paul’s phrase “now we see through a glass, darkly” (I Corinthians 13:12) was a metaphor drawn from the characteristics of polished metal mirrors of his day.  The modern mirror is a descendent of a technique introduced by a German inventor by the name of Justus von Liebig in 1835.  Liebig applied a thin layer of silver behind a piece of glass, and launched a revolution.  Today, mirrors are still backed by layers of silver or aluminum. 

Now back to my pondering.  Why did the removal of my mirror leave such an impression?  The following considerations came to mind:

1. First, my mirror affirms my existence.  When I wake up in the morning, I look at myself in the mirror as a habit.  This is my way of declaring, “Yup, that’s me.  Same brown eyes.  Same brown hair (with ever increasing patches of gray).  Same nose and mouth.”  While this may sound silly, recognizing ourselves in a mirror is fundamental to our sense of self.  I have read that children pass this milestone around twenty months of age.  They also see themselves reflected in the words and facial expressions of their parents or caregivers.  Is it possible this developmental step is the origin of our morning glance in the mirror?

As adults, we have a need to be “seen”; to have others confirm our existence.  Being “seen” includes others’ acknowledgement of our importance, accomplishments, thoughts and concerns.  This is why we prefer that others speak to us instead of around us. To listen to us instead of telling us what they know.  Perhaps you have been in a group discussion where you felt dismissed because others ignored you.  Did you think, “Hey, I’m here”, or make an overt attempt to be noticed?  It’s alright if you did, because we all need to be seen.  

When I look in a mirror, I see myself.  I start my day with proof of my existence. 

2. My mirror reinforces my self-image.  Along with “I’m here” I need to know “I am”.  When I look in a mirror, I see more than a physical reflection.  The image before me evokes what I feel about myself; the uniqueness of my being. 

A glance in a mirror can point to something deeper.  It touches our dreams, fears and disappointments.  Our facial expressions tell us when we are happy, worried, sad or inspired.  We ask, “Am I pretty or handsome?  Am I getting old?  Am I getting enough sleep?”  In our better moments, we know our outward appearance does not define us.  As the Lord told Samuel when he was preparing to identify Israel’s next king, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Samuel 16:7).  Still, the inner conversation that occurs when we look in a mirror exposes our self-image.   

Perhaps this is why it is good to spend time away from physical mirrors in order to reestablish our true identity.  Our most accurate reflection is discovered in the Word of God where we learn we are made in the image of God, and are created for a purpose.  Interestingly, the phrase “face to face” referenced in 1 Corinthians 13:12, is an idiom that describes scripture as the place where we encounter God; where our faces meet.  In this way, God becomes our mirror, and we are reminded He is the One who ultimately reveals “who we are” as opposed to the world, which so often defines us for its own purposes.  This brings us to the third dynamic between ourselves and the mirrors on our wall.

3. My mirror reflects what others see.  My mirror alerts me to shaving cream in my ear, disheveled hair and displaced shirt buttons.  Few of us want to leave the house in the morning without at least one peek in the mirror to see if we are put together. 

Unfortunately, we can become obsessed with how we look, and become depressed if we fail to meet society’s definition of “good looks”.  We can also feed our ego like the evil queen in Snow White who inquired, “Mirror, mirror on the wall; who is the fairest one of all?” 

What others see matters.  Proverbs 15:13 states, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.”  It is noteworthy that Cain’s countenance fell when God dismissed his offering.  “But on Cain and his offering he did not look with favor. So, Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast. Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast?’” (Genesis 4:5-6) We are skilled at hiding our feelings, but sooner or later those who know us best will notice something is amiss.  I will add that years of “hard living” can permanently alter our appearance.  As Abraham Lincoln once said, “Everyone is responsible for how they look after the age of 40″.

The positive aspect of what others see is the feedback they provide.  More than one person has been uplifted or saved from trouble because someone who cared sensed something was “off”.  Years ago, I was navigating a stressful time in my ministry.  On a particular day I transitioned from performing a funeral to visiting a terminally ill church member in the hospital.  I felt called to be present for the church member, but everything in me wanted to go home and hide from the world.  I waited on the first floor of the hospital for the elevator to arrive, and when it opened, I hesitated. There was a young man with a beard and long hair standing inside.  He didn’t seem to be in a hurry to exit the elevator, but instead surveyed my face as I slowly stepped inside. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hey man.  It’s going to be OK”, and walked out onto the floor.  The door to the elevator closed and I wept.  I have often wondered if this was a personal visit from Jesus, since the young man looked just like Him! (At least He looked like a painting or two I have seen).  Probably not.  But I do believe he was a messenger from God sent to confront my troubled heart and remind me I was not alone.

Thank God for people in our lives who lovingly tell us what they see.  He truly works in mysterious ways.    

4. My mirror helps me personally evaluate my well-being.  Although others notice when I am carrying a burden, my mirror can also force me to admit something is wrong.

When we are unusually tired, stressed or worried, it shows.  On these days, we can try to improve how we look, or we can just go back to bed.  We can also dismiss what we see and ignore the signs something in our lives needs attention.  We wrongly assume it is better to cover up or hide our struggles than uncover the truth.  It is possible the irregularities we find in our physical image in the mirror are indications of a serious spiritual malady.  Time in God’s Word can help us face our battles and seek healing, if we are willing to listen.  We are reminded of James’ words in James 1:23-24: “Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirrorand, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”  

To be honest, I don’t always like what I see in the mirror.  Most days I can overlook these imperfections, sigh and walk away.  But I shouldn’t discount the possibility that deeper issues exist.  A few seconds in front of the mirror can alert me to a problem.  And most of all, coming face-to-face with God in His Word can help me see what He sees.  His reflection can lead to tremendous growth, if I am willing to change.   

My bathroom renovation project is complete and I have happily replaced my mirror.  My morning routine has been restored!  But I am still pondering the importance of a reflection.  If nothing more, I have added a question to my devotional time with God.  I now ask, “Am I staring at a blank wall, or seeking Your purpose for my life? Am I the reflection of Your glory you desire?” 

How about you?  What do you see when you look in the mirror?