Archeologists devote their lives to “unlocking the past”.   They dream of groundbreaking artifacts like the Rosetta Stone, which helped linguists decode ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics.  New insights into the past can help us understand the present, and possibly create a better future. 

This same principle applies to life in general.  My father used to say, “One reason people don’t know where they are going is because they don’t know where they have been.”  The revelations of our past can be painful, but they often open to the door to the fulfillment we seek.

The Apostle Paul once reflected on his past and its impact on his ministry.  He was addressing those who sought peace with God through their earthly resume when he wrote, “If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee;as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.” (Philippians 3:4b-6).  Paul concluded, “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ” (Philippians 3:7). 

Paul wasn’t saying his past was unimportant.  In fact, God providentially chose Him for a special ministry because his upbringing in the Roman city of Tarsus, along with his training in Jewish law positioned him to share the gospel with Gentiles and build bridges between Gentiles and Jews in the church.  Paul’s point was not that he did not appreciate his parents, his teachers, or anyone else involved in his spiritual formation, but rather that salvation is not based on human achievement.  It is found in the righteousness of Christ and received by grace through faith.  This was his message to those in Philippi who thought otherwise, and who were creating dysfunction in the church with a religion based on works.

Our past matters.  There are several reasons I have often denied ways in which my past continues to influence my thoughts, words and actions.  These include an unwillingness to acknowledge I have an unconscious self that influences my daily decisions, the fear that I might dishonor people in my life who have invested in me and the false perception that I am strong enough to prevent the past from creeping into my present.  

One of the greatest blessings I received during my recent Chaplain Residency, was the ability to face my past more honestly and process my memories and experiences with seven other chaplains.  As we served and learned together, we confronted one another, spoke truth without reservation, provided perspective and delved into the “whys” behind our behaviors.  We cried, laughed and on a few occasions, left the room to cool off.  The work was hard, but so very rewarding.

I found the intensity of these challenges intriguing since I would not have thought I had major issues with my past.  I trusted in the blood of Jesus, which washed me clean and freed me from the shackles of sin.  I also believed the Holy Spirit was guiding, counseling and comforting me as I grew spiritually.  I am still convinced this was the case.

However, what I had not considered was the truth that forgiveness does not equal health and wholeness.  Please don’t misunderstand.  I know I can bring anything before the Lord.  I live in the shadow of the cross and am saved by grace.  But perhaps my biggest mistake was believing if I prayed harder and read God’s Word more, my issues would disappear.  Prayer and Bible study are the bread and butter of spiritual maturity, but unless I am honest about what is going on in my inner world, these can be used to repress what God wants to stir up. 

During my Residency, my Supervisor would say, “We need to be honest about our unchristian self.”  He didn’t mean we should act in unchristian ways, or say unchristian things.  Instead, he was suggesting we all have thoughts and feelings about experiences in our lives that we know are not becoming of a follower of Christ.  While we may learn to control how we express these things, they are also signposts pointing to issues in our past that need attention.  We may experience healing as we revisit events we tucked away because we felt powerless at the time, and finally allow ourselves to become angry.     

The choice to deal with our past is the first layer that must be removed to find what lies beneath.  Additional layers can be removed in their proper time. 

I want to encourage you to begin, if you have not already, taking an honest look at how your past experiences continue to show up in your life.  Why are you constantly struggling with perfectionism, addictions and self-loathing?  Why do you continue to bring conflict and dysfunction into your human relationships?  Are you replaying a drama in your past, hoping someone will help you solve it?   

I believe if we can begin to address these questions, we will not only have more peace, but we might learn that the turmoil we encounter is less about the issues before us and more about the issues inside.  The good news is, we have the rest of our lives to figure it out!  But it does take work, and we should not settle for good enough when there are so many blessings to be had by allowing God to heal us with His grace.  Then we can share the attitude of Paul in Philippians 3:12 where he wrote, “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me”. 

What artifacts are hidden in your heart and mind?  If you are willing to dig a little deeper, and bring them before the Lord, the results could be historic!