This week I listened in as Gold Star families shared painful reflections of relatives who lost their lives as servicemembers during America’s 2021 exit from Afghanistan.  The families were testifying before a special congressional forum in Escondido, California.  Common themes included the patriotism of those who made the ultimate sacrifice for their country and the need for government leaders to be honest about mistakes made and learn from them. 

I recall my first encounter with Gold Star families.  I was a young minister in a small town in southern Indiana when I was asked by a local Gold Star Mother’s group to deliver a devotion for their monthly gathering.  Every mother had lost a son in battle and the memory of the day they received the most heart-breaking news imaginable was still fresh in their minds. 

The Gold Star designation began in World War I when individuals wore black armbands with gold stars representing family members who had died while serving their country.  Later, families with loved ones serving in the war, displayed banners in their windows with a blue star for each servicemember.  If a family member was killed, the blue star was replaced with a gold one. 

The testimonies of family members before the congressional forum in California led me to ponder the significance of public symbols which represent personal loss.  Since we often guard our hearts against those who invade our privacy as we grieve, it may seem counterintuitive that some would continue to share their loss in such a highly visible manner.    

And yet, the deaths of those who die in battle must be public, because we are all tightly bound to their sacrifice.  They died for us.  In addition, the Gold Star community is made up of those who share one another’s pain and draw strength from the same as they traverse the valley of the shadow of death.  The Gold Star is not only to remind families of their loss, but to welcome others into their fold, and to remind the rest of us to be thankful for those who gave all on our behalf. 

These are the underlying messages I reflected on as I listened to the Afghanistan forum.  I cannot turn away from the ugly reality of war, or the immense and ongoing pain of those whose loved ones died.  I may not fully understand how this reality feels, but it is wrong for me to ignore the signs; to fail to see the suffering that exists behind the symbolic star (or any other symbol of remembrance for those who give their lives in the service of our country). 

Permit me to transition to a related observation, while holding the loss of Gold Star families in my heart.  I have discovered all humans are prone to shield themselves from the suffering of others in an effort to dismiss or diminish their place in the story.  Put another way, it is hard for us to accept our need could ever be so great as to require the sacrifice of another.

Consider Jesus’ death on the cross.  His sacrifice was an historical event which impacted the entire human race.  Through the blood He shed, the cost of sin was paid, and all who commit their lives to Him as Lord and Savior can receive a new relationship with God, the indwelling Holy Spirit and eternal life.  The obvious assumption and implication here is that those who bear the name “Christian” are sinners saved by grace.

While we embrace this fact in theory, it is possible to ignore it in practice.  To what extent do we feel indebted to Jesus?  We honor the memory of the cross through a symbolic meal, and we speak and sing of God’s grace poured out through His Son at Calvary.  But do these things grip our souls and stir our hearts?  Do we merely identify with their meaning, or do they define our very being? 

We must ultimately answer these questions for ourselves.   However, I believe the depth to which we are moved by the cross might be witnessed in the following ways:

• When we think of the cross, we think of the heart of our Heavenly Father who allowed His Son to die on our behalf.
• When we worship with others, we feel united by our mutual problem of sin and the gift of salvation. 
• When we share in communion at the Lord’s Table, we envision the cross, and mentally scroll through the unpleasant details of the battle that raged as Jesus suffered and died. 

Jesus once said, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13).  The sacrifice of love touches the core of our being and keeps our souls in constant states of transformation.  This is why the Gold Star mothers were faithful in remembering and encouraging one another in a small Indiana town.  It is why the family members of servicemembers lost in the Afghanistan exit have formed a community and want others to remember the price that was paid.

And it is why our lives are joined together on a spiritual journey underwritten by the blood of the very Son of God.  We cannot forget, and we cannot ignore why the cross is important.  We are sinners saved by grace.  We are not our own, since our freedom was purchased at a great price.  As a result, a Star stands above us; a “bright Morning Star” (Revelation 22:16). We hold His banner high that the world might see Him and come to a place of salvation.  And when others receive Him, we welcome them with open arms as those who have experienced the same grace at His expense.